


Love at First Sight

by FPwoper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas and Jimmy don't know if they are related, DCJ Big Bang, DCJ Big Bang 2017, I'm bad at tagging but there is nothing major, Jimmy is a porn star, M/M, Polyamory, confused identities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:03:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10857354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: Dean Winchester is the owner of his own car restoration store slash garage, aptly named "Winchester Cars". His brother, Sam, and best friends have all moved away from the medium-sized city he lives in, and Dean is lonely. He's not coping very well - J.N., a porn actor slash lingerie model, is profiting a lot from his lonely nights - and the only person keeping him happy is Charlie, his best friend. Their Skype conversations don't always help, though.One night, after being pressured by Charlie to finally go out, Dean strikes out again. He decides to just give up and wanders around the city until he finds a bar he likes, and enters. He decides to go in and hope for the best - maybe he'll find someone there…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I need to thank so many people, most of all the mods from the DCJ big bang, and my boyfriend for encouraging me to keep going.  
> The most important people for this project, however, are kuwlshadow and morningstarcas. Kuwlshadow ([Tumblr](http://kuwlshadow.tumblr.com)/[AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuwlshadow)) is my amazing artist, who wasn't even originally my artist but omfg. I absolutely love the artwork, so be sure to go over [here on tumblr](http://kuwlshadow.tumblr.com/post/160840024688/title-love-at-first-sight-author-fpwoper-artist) or [here on livejournal](http://kuwlshadow.livejournal.com/82495.html) or [here on AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11011479/) to see the artwork and love the hell out of it. Really. Kuwlshadow saved my ass (both with the art and showing me how to embed this beautiful art on AO3.  
> [Morningstarcas](http://morningstarcas.tumblr.com) ([xforesttree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xforesttree)) is the best _ever_ beta. Morningstarcas read the last few bits of chapter 12 while in exams week and I cannot say thanks enough. Really. You're the best.
> 
> Now, enjoy!
> 
>  

## 

##  [[Chapter 1]]

 

Dean isn’t above admitting that he is lonely: his brother moved to the other side of the United States, and most of his friends have moved away as well. He knows he isn’t coping well – and the only other person who knows it is Charlie. Still, he tries his best every day.

 

Dean owns a car restoration shop, and he absolutely loves his work. He knows that he isn’t needed but his employees would probably kill for him, and that makes him put on his overalls again for the days when he does get out of bed. Apart from that, there isn’t an awful lot keeping him on his feet lately. Of course, his daily chats with Charlie brighten his evening, but in the morning, it is as hard as always to get out of bed and just get going. Charlie knows it, and she actively encourages him, but it is hard to take her seriously and actually follow her advice over the internet.

 

Dean takes a deep breath and settles in his chair, moving his butt around until he finds the perfect position. There is a second thing that helps Dean pull through the day, which is something he’d rather keep a secret. Charlie doesn’t know about it, and Dean would like to keep it that way. He hopes that only his credit card company knows about it.

 

When he’s sitting right, he boots up his computer, and actually closes down Skype. He doesn’t want to talk to Charlie right now, he just needs to indulge. Even though everything at his shop is going great since he took over from his dad, one of his dad’s former competitors still comes around sometimes to bitch about anything and everything. It’s the best way to ruin Dean’s day, and that’s exactly what happened today. He was in a bad mood already when Crowley arrived, but his visit hadn’t improved his mood in the slightest. Now that Dean is finally home, he really doesn’t want to bother with anything but relaxing.

 

When his computer is ready, he logs in and quickly heads to his favourite website. The website is easy to navigate, without all the nuisances of the flashy tit pics, ads for Viagra and dick enlargements, and other unsolicited requests on the website. He loves the peace and quiet of the dark grey website J.N. runs. So what if one of the few things keeping him out of his depression is a certain beautiful dark-haired porn star slash director? It’s his own money he pumps into the website, and J.N. gives him some amazing porn in return. Dean is an out and proud bisexual – even though his dad had never agreed with the ‘proud’ bit – and he is still glad for the discovery that is J.N.’s gay porn. It doesn’t look like the mass-produced shit that is on most websites: it’s a lot more refined. When two men in J.N.’s porn do the deed, they put everything on display: not just the vigorous fuck, but also the sloppy and sometimes awkward prep, and the awkwardness that is trying to find the right angle for the cameras. There is a lot of laughing and casual sweetness in the videos which Dean enjoys very much. It’s definitely worth the large sum of money he has to pay each year to access all the videos.

 

For Dean, the best part of it all, weirdly enough, is that the website doesn’t update daily. New videos are only uploaded once a week, which makes the suspense of waiting for new material so much better. So when Dean navigates to the “New” section, he isn’t really expecting new material. He knows that they are normally uploaded every Thursday (not like he is checking, he just noticed), and today is a Tuesday which means nothing new should be up yet. He is pleasantly surprised, though, when he notices that there _is_ a new video. This one is starring J.N. himself, and Dean can already feel arousal stirring. He loves J.N., and he’d even go so far as to say that he would probably fall in love with him immediately if they were ever to meet. J.N. is everything Dean has ever wanted in a man: muscular but not too much, dark mussed up hair, bright blue eyes, and that voice… Dean feels himself swell up already, and he hasn’t even clicked on the video yet. He blinks back to where he was, and takes another deep breath. The description underneath the video says that it is a solo video, and that it stars the creator himself, doing work both in front of and behind the camera. Dean knows that he is sold already, and clicks the video.

 

***

 

Later that night, he moves away from behind his desk after finally getting out of his chat with Charlie. She kept on talking about this one girl that she met, and while Dean is interested in his best friend’s love life, it was kind of awkward to hear her gush about the woman. Dean doesn’t have anyone in his life, and every time Charlie gets a new girl in her life he starts to feel jealous. Which is not fair towards Charlie, at all, because if Dean were to go out he would be able to score too. Point is, he never goes out, so he doesn’t find himself a boyfriend or girlfriend or even a one night stand. His standards are way too high now that he’s kind of pining for J.N., and he knows that he can’t tell Charlie about that without being laughed at (and her judging him from afar). It’s still painful to hear her talk about her next conquest while he’s still stuck behind his computer looking at J.N.’s amazing cock. Not that he’d ever mind looking at that.

 

He’s just glad that he can finally go to sleep. He’s been almost dozing off ever since those three orgasms he had while watching J.N.’s newest video (which incidentally featured J.N. coming about four times on several types of dildos, every single one larger and wider than the previous one). He can’t remember a time when he has come so often and so hard in such a short amount of time, but that’s J.N. for you. He’s the only man able to do that to Dean.

 

Dean is tired but his mind is still kind of stuck on that video, and Charlie’s voice is still in his mind, and he _swears_ it her that tells him that _it would be an amazing idea to go out tomorrow night and go find someone to sleep with for the night, just to get over J.N._ Which cannot be true because she still doesn’t know about his addiction to porn. He does feel slightly better, though. Charlie, even though it isn’t really her, is right. He should go out more often, try to meet people even though they aren’t what he wants most in life. It’s just the fact that he doesn’t interact a lot with people who aren’t his co-workers or employees (or his friends who don’t live near him anymore).

 

Suddenly, he feels more determined. Maybe he _can_ find what Charlie has, too. It might not be what he wants but it would do him a lot of good to go out and socialise a little more. It could even help drag him out of his funk, too. With that idea firmly planted in his mind, Dean finally falls asleep.

 

***

 

So Dean finds himself in a club just a week later. It had taken Charlie a lot of time to talk him into going to the only gay club in his city, but Dean was glad that she had done so. Normally, he wouldn’t have the courage to go all by himself, and sadly Charlie was unable to come, but Dean knows that she will be supporting him from afar, and that feels pretty good, too.

 

It’s just that the club doesn’t do anything for Dean. And when he says that it doesn’t do anything for him, he means that everyone present is either too young or too old for him. He feels out of place as a thirty year old man, and that is a weird feeling. He doesn’t want to think about it too much, but somehow, when he ends up leaving the bar around 9 pm already, he knows that that club in his home city is not the kind of place where he can find a hook-up or a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. _Whatever_.

 

Dean ends up walking a bit further than he normally does when he arrives at a bar called _Benny’s_ , which looks a lot more friendly and inviting than the gay club did. Dean decides to go in and try his luck there, and if he doesn’t like it, he’ll just go home and admit defeat (and text Charlie that he has struck out again).

 

The second he enters, however, he knows that he’s going to have a hard time leaving this bar ever again. The atmosphere is as friendly as the exterior suggests and it’s rather small but it feels homely and welcoming, and Dean is quick to sit down on a stool at the bar.

 

“Hey,” the bartender says with a more Southern drawl than Dean’s used to. “You’re new here. I’m Benny.”

 

“Hi,” Dean replies, looking over to see a bearded man behind the bar. “Dean,” he introduces himself.

 

“Hello, Dean. What can I get you?” Dean orders a beer, and Benny is quick to serve it to him.

 

“So how’d you end up here?” Benny asks, sounding honestly interested. Dean blushes, and tries to gauge how the man would react if Dean told him about his other pursuits this night. He doesn’t want to out himself right away, but looking at Benny just calms him, and he decides to just throw caution to the wind and tell the man.

 

“I was told by my best friend Charlie that I had to try and start dating again,” Dean starts. He’s kind of stalling, nervous about Benny’s reaction. “She is dating an amazing girl right now, and I was kind of bitching about that during our last Skype conversation.” Dean looks up to gauge Benny’s reaction, and since he doesn’t react beyond a drawn eyebrow, Dean continues. “So she said I should try the gay club, that I might finally find someone there. I was… disappointed.”

 

“Ah,” Benny says, noncommittally. “So you struck out, huh?” Dean nodded, and Benny smiled at that. “Well, luckily this here is kind of the second queer bar in town, even though nothing’s official. We’re a bar and we’re queer, basically.” Benny sees Dean’s raised eyebrow, and explains further. “I don’t go about advertising, but most of the folk here, including me, are queer. They’re just here to have a good time, and not all of them want to date, but… my man in the corner, over there-” Benny points towards a lone man in one of the few booths in the tiny bar “- I know he’s looking.”

 

Dean looks towards the man, and his mouth falls open. The man is exactly what he is looking for.

 

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Benny says with a smile on his face. “Too bad I didn’t get you for myself but hey, my girl wouldn’t be happy about that either.”

 

Dean smiles and swallows when he looks back at the table with the lonely man. He decides to go for it and asks Benny for whatever the man drinks. He pays for that and another beer for himself, and then he wanders over towards the man. It seems so easy to just go over and talk to the man, but Dean finds himself strangely shy. He decides to put the glass of mojito ( _Strange choice_ , Dean thinks, and immediately scolds himself for it) on the table, and just slide it over to the man, who catches it and looks up.

 

Dean is struck by the colour of his eyes right away. _Blue_. Combined with the dark hair, Dean can’t help the shocked “Oh” that slips out between his lips. The man immediately looks down again, but Dean slides into the booth anyway. He would have asked but he knows that this man thinks that _Dean_ thinks he is not interested in dating. Luckily Dean knows differently _Oh God_ , Dean thinks, _is this really J.N.?_

 

“Hi,” Dean says once he’s seated and has his vocal chords working again. “I’m Dean.” He extends a hand over the table, which the other man shakes.

 

“I’m Jimmy,” the other man says. “You recognise me, don’t you? Before you ask, yes. I am the guy who does the porn.”

 

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Dean replies. “I figured it would be very unprofessional and rather… obsessive to start with that.”

 

Jimmy laughs, and just like that the ice between the two of them is broken. It is different than Dean had expected – but hey, who expects to meet their favourite porn star in one of the lesser known queer bars of his rather small town? – but it definitely isn’t bad. As soon as they get to talking about their interest it is clear that they match, and Dean is floored by the ease with which they talk their way through the night. Benny kicks them out at one point, and that is when Dean remembers that he still has to go into work the next day.

 

“I’m sorry, Jimmy,” he apologises. He’d told Jimmy about his own business already, and Jimmy gets it, but Dean still detects a hint of disappointment in his eyes when Dean tells him he really needs to leave. “I’d like to meet again, though,” Dean adds quickly, and Jimmy’s face lights up again. It’s good to see the man happy.

 

“So…” Jimmy says, sounding slightly nervous. “Can I… can I get your number so we don’t have to rely on the possibility of meeting again? I’d rather just meet up than hope for a chance second meeting.”

 

“Of course,” Dean beams. He definitely didn’t expect to get lucky in any way that night, but even getting a phone number would be a major improvement. He likes Jimmy, and he really wants to see where it could be going. Dean unlocks his phone and adds Jimmy as a new contact, holding out his phone for Jimmy to put in his phone number. As soon as the other man finishes typing, he takes it back and quickly sends a text to the new number.

 

“Don’t check it until you’re home,” Dean warns, and presses a quick kiss to Jimmy’s cheek before waving goodbye and quickly leaving. Jimmy smiles and waves back. He doesn’t promise not to check, but Dean trusts the man, and he is pretty sure that Jimmy won’t check the message. Leaving turns out to be harder than Dean expected, but once he starts walking, it isn’t too bad. He is going to meet Jimmy again after all.

 

(And now he knows that he definitely doesn’t just like J.N. for his looks. His personality is rather amazing, too.)

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

##  [[Chapter 2]]

Surprisingly (or not), meeting Jimmy has completely thrown Dean. He comes into work the next day feeling slightly hungover and with a silly smile on his face. Of course most of his employees notice and they try to be as covert as possible to find out what made Dean so happy.

 

“You found someone yesterday, didn’t you?” Jo asks while they are having lunch. It’s just the two of them and Jo has been close to Dean ever since she started working for him. “You have to have had sex for that glow.”  


Dean bites his lip but doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want her to know yet because him meeting his favourite porn star and maybe getting to date that man is not something he wants to broadcast just yet in case it goes wrong. He knows that he’ll be seen as _that person who dated a porn star and it went wrong, but what else did we expect?_ He has to say _something_ , however, to appease Jo’s curiosity.

 

“I tried,” Dean says eventually. “I went to that one club, like Charlie suggested a few weeks back, but I really didn’t like it. It’s not my kind of crowd, I guess.” He shrugs, even though it feels awkward to tell Jo. “I left early, and wandered around town, found another bar – an actual bar, not a club. The owner said that they aren’t officially labelled a queer bar, but well, they are.” Dean pauses to take a breath and think over his next words. He can’t tell Jo everything, but he could… try. “I had a lot of fun there. Benny, the owner, is nice, and doesn’t care about anyone’s sexuality, and I might like him a lot.”

 

“So it was him you ‘tried’ with?” Jo asks, quoting Dean back at himself.

 

“Nah,” Dean says, fighting the urge to blush now. “I didn’t. It feels weird somehow, you know. Hitting on the barman. Feels like fishing for free drinks. Plus, I don’t even know if he likes men.”

 

“So who was it then?” Jo asks, impatient now.

 

“You really are the annoying sister I never wanted. I’m not going to tell you,” Dean says, and quickly adds, “I don’t want to ruin my chances with him.”

 

“And you think telling your friends about him will do just that?”  


Dean feels his cheeks heat up. Yup, definitely blushing now. “It might.”

 

Jo sighs at his evasion but gives in. “Okay. I won’t bother you about him.” Her gaze hardens and she narrows her eyes. “But do tell when it becomes serious, okay? I want to meet the guy who has the great Dean Winchester blushing so easily.”

 

Dean suppresses a smile. “Of course, Jo. You’ll probably be the first person to meet him anyway, since Sam isn’t here, and you are kind of a spare Winchester. The one I never wanted, that is.”

 

“Hey!” Jo tries to sound angry, but she can’t while she’s gloating – and Dean knows it. She smiles up at him. “I’ll try to get the other guys off your back, okay?”

 

“Thanks, Jo.” Dean is grateful for her help, and he really needs it in this case. He knows that no one will let go until they actually know what is going on, and Jo is among the best in spreading rumours about Dean’s happiness. It’s also a given that it won’t include the fact that he went out to find a one night stand and utterly failed. Knowing Jo, she would claim the opposite but Dean doesn’t care. He just doesn’t want word out about his maybe-dating yet.

 

***

 

Of course Jo delivers on her promise, and Dean is happily left alone for the remainder of the day. Even though Dean tries to stay focused as much as possible, he feels that he is close to his limit for patience and paying attention around three o’clock. He needs to check his phone as soon as possible. The urge is something he hasn’t had before except when Sam was in the hospital some time back, but now it’s there, stronger than he expected. Dean decides to go get something to drink after he’s finished with the upholstery of a ’78 Camaro.

 

It works great as motivation, and Dean is finished sooner than he’d expected. He looks at the new upholstery with a critical eye and then turns around. He knows he can’t see if he’s done anything wrong when he’s been staring at the same details for a long time, and he decides that that break has to be now.

 

He walks towards the break room and grabs his phone before getting a bottle of water. He stretches his back before sitting down on the rundown couch in the room, and stares at the lock screen of his phone. He isn’t actually expecting any messages from Jimmy, but he does see the alert that he has received a new message, and he’s quick to open it. He feels disappointed when he sees that it’s just a message from Sam saying he won’t be able to Skype this week because of a case he’s working on. Dean quickly sends a message back, now feeling even more disappointed. While he really wasn’t expecting a message from Jimmy, he’s still kind of down about it, and Sam didn’t have the greatest news either. Dean scratches the back of his neck as he thinks about his next step. Should he be the one to message Jimmy for a date? Or would that be too forward, and too pushy? It reminds him of that one episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ , the one with the three day rule. Dean huffs, and is startled when Jo pokes her head around the door to the break room and calls out to him.

 

“Dean, dude, there’s someone at the front desk for you?” she says, question clear in her voice as if she doesn’t know what it’s about. Dean takes a deep breath and stows his phone in his overall.

 

“I’m coming,” he says. “Let me just clean up after myself here, and I’ll be right there.”

 

***

 

He definitely isn’t expecting this. Dean rounds the corner, and he sees a man standing there, hair mussed up and wearing a suit. People in suits are often bad omens, so Dean sends a quick prayer that this man either wants a restoration or really is lost. Maybe his car broke down. He just hopes that it isn’t someone who wants to buy his business, or someone who is there to complain about stains or new smell in their cars.

 

“Hello, sir,” Dean says while approaching. “How may I help you?”  


The man turns around, and a smile lights up on his face. “Hi Dean. My car broke down, can you fix her?”  


Dean is speechless for a few seconds before he finds his balance again and he’s able to speak again. He’s aware Jo is watching them, which makes things a lot more awkward. “Jimmy.”

 

Jimmy is still standing there, smiling like an idiot, and cocks his head to the side. “Yup, it’s me. You told me you owned a garage yesterday but I didn’t know you also did restorations.”

 

Dean scratches the back of his neck, and realises that Jimmy is waiting for a response. “It didn’t come up,” he says sheepishly. “But your car broke down? That’s something I can fix. Where is your car? I’ll look at her right away.”

 

“Don’t you have other cars to tend to first? I don’t want to cut the queue, okay?” Jimmy sounds worried, but Dean puts a stop to that.

 

“Dude, it’s no problem. I just finished up what I could on a Camaro, and I won’t be able to do anything until it’s painted, so it’s fine.” Dean smiles reassuringly at Jimmy. “So, where’s she?”

 

***

 

It doesn’t take him long to fix Jimmy’s car. It’s just the spark plug that needs replacing, and Jimmy has a pretty new car, so it’s easily done. Dean already has his number, so he calls him as soon as he’s done.

 

“Hey Jimmy,” he greets when Jimmy answers. “Your car is done, so you can pick her up if you want to.”

 

“Thanks, Dean,” Jimmy says. Dean hears some vague noises in the background, and Jimmy says something Dean can’t hear before returning to the phone. “I just can’t leave right now. Hang on a sec, Dean.”

 

Dean hears a few doors open and close, and some really loud moans before Jimmy comes back again. “I’m sorry about that. I was in the middle of a shoot, but I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

 

Dean feels a blush start to rise on his cheeks, and suddenly he’s glad that he went outside to make this phone call. If Jo saw him like this, she’d know in an instant it was Jimmy whom he’d met the night before. “You wanted to talk to me?” Dean has to make a conscious effort not to stammer. He’s flustered and weirdly flattered that Jimmy is walking away from a porn shoot to talk to him.

 

“I did.” Jimmy’s voice sounds warm, and Dean feels a corresponding warmth flare up in his belly. “I mean, what’s a better excuse to talk to you than my car breaking down, right?”

 

Dean laughs nervously. “Yeah, that was a good one. But your car did break down, so… It wasn’t an excuse.”

 

“What do you mean, Dean?”

 

“I… uh…” Dean doesn’t know how to save himself from this one. He is obviously just a bumbling mess right now. He doesn’t even know if he just made sense or not. “I just… you didn’t have to come up with an excuse,” he blurts. “I was going to text you when you came into the shop.”

 

Jimmy laughs softly at that, and Dean’s heart flutters at the sound. It’s a sound he’d like to hear more often. “That’s a total coincidence, then. I thought my car was acting up, and I didn’t mean to end up in your garage, but I did and it all worked out pretty well if you ask me.”

 

“It did,” Dean agrees, and they both fall silent for a short while. Eventually it’s Jimmy who breaks the silence again.

 

“I should get back to the shoot. They’re probably wondering where I’ve gone, if I’ve run off because of their bad acting or something, and I feel kind of weird for running off like that. Normally I don’t have my phone on me when I’m filming.”

 

“Yeah,” Dean says. “I can imagine. It kind of ruins the mood when someone’s phone rings.”  


“It does.” Jimmy is silent again, and then takes a deep breath. “So, about this dating thing… Do you want to have dinner with me on Wednesday?”

 

“I’m probably free, then, yes.” Dean starts smiling right away. “I mean, I need to check my schedule but… I’ll tentatively say yes.”

 

“So… do you have a preference?”

 

“Burgers and pie is always great,” Dean answers, a smile accompanying his words.

 

“I’ll text you the details, then. Like what time we’ll meet, who picks up who…”  


“Can you do without your car until Wednesday?” Dean asks suddenly, a plan forming easily. It’s Monday now, but who knows how far Jimmy has to travel for his studios, or if he has any other appointments this week.

 

“I guess so,” Jimmy answers apprehensively. “What, do you want to steal my car for a few days? She’s nothing like yours.”

 

Dean chuckles. “No, I could pick you up in your car, we could go out for dinner, and then you drop me off at my place? Does that sound okay?”

 

“I like that. It’s fine. Just check your appointments, Dean. I’d like to get a reservation in somewhere.”

 

“Sure, Jimmy,” Dean answers. “I’ll let you know as soon as possible, and then I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

 

“See you on Wednesday!” With that, Jimmy hangs up, and Dean just… smiles. While he was nervous before the phone call, now he is just happy. He was afraid of asking Jimmy out, because he still… he still likes him more than he should, but at the same time it feels natural to be around him. He just hopes that Jo won’t notice his huge smiles, and that she will be forgiving and not make fun of him if she does.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

##  [[Chapter 3]]

It takes Dean and Jimmy about three dates before they are feel comfortable enough with each other for one of them to take the other home. Dean thought he’d be ready sooner, but Jimmy has completely thrown him and he knows that he doesn’t want to put him off. Still they head to Dean’s apartment first, since Jimmy still feels a little uncomfortable with showing Dean his living space.

 

Dean shows Jimmy around in his moderately sized apartment in no time – he has two bedrooms, which is in itself something of a miracle that he’s been able to afford it before he took over the garage slash restoration business. Sam’s been glad for the second bedroom quite often, even though he is the only one who actually uses it. It doubles as an office at home, but it makes him feel good about this space nonetheless. It’s his home. And Jimmy doesn’t say anything about the computer with two screens, which Dean takes as a win.

 

They settle on the couch, the silence between them friendly but slightly awkward. Dean licks his lips and turns towards Jimmy. He knows he shouldn’t expect too much of the man today – after all, they have only been dating for a few weeks and Dean is very much in favour of Jimmy’s opinion on their relationship. They really should take it slow, and enjoy everything that comes their way. Dean knows Jimmy is amazing in the sack – his reviews are all stellar, and Dean kind of wishes he can say that ironically, but most of the people who worked with Jimmy have rated him five out of five stars – and he really doesn’t want to pressure Jimmy into something he doesn’t want to do, but… Dean wants him so much. Most of Dean’s dreams have featured Jimmy lately, and because they are dating it feels weird to check out any new videos starring the man. Dean feels like a man in a hot desert and Jimmy is his oasis – no really. It is starting to feel weird, and now Dean has made the silence between them awkward.

 

Jimmy has moved closer to Dean, trying to catch the man’s attention. They didn’t go out, instead opting to go to Dean’s house for once and not spend a lot of money on buying drinks they have at their own places as well. Now, Dean is just sitting there spaced out, and Jimmy feels kind of weird in Dean’s home. Dean finally comes back to him, face red and pupils dilated, when Jimmy pokes him in the side.

 

“Shit, sorry,” Dean says. “I guess I just… got a little lost in thought. Can I get you a beer or something?”

 

Jimmy smiles and nods. “A beer would be great.” He watches Dean get up, and feels like he can’t wipe the smile off his face. He knows exactly what Dean was thinking about, if Dean’s swagger is any indication. It’s even worse than normal, and Jimmy’s guess is that Dean got himself a little worked up. _Which is understandable_ , Jimmy thinks, checking out Dean’s ass on the way to the kitchen. He’s been a little standoffish, more so than he normally would when dating, and he knows that Dean is really into him. They click as friends, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that would also apply to them in the bedroom. Jimmy is… interested in finding out, to say the least. He just doesn’t know how to bring it up with the man swaggering back into the living room. Dean slides him his beer like he did the mojito in the bar.

 

“Here you go, Jimmy,” Dean says, frowning slightly when he sees Jimmy’s faraway expression. “What’s going on with us today? You’re also not really present, are you?”

 

“Nah,” Jimmy says, tearing his mind away from the pleasant thoughts about fucking Dean. “I am here now, and it’s just… I don’t know.” Jimmy shrugs, and clinks his beer against Dean’s. “To us.”

 

“To us,” Dean repeats before taking a swig. They drink in silence, and Dean feels the incessant need to chatter about something. He gets up from the couch and walks towards the bookcases holding both books and DVDs. “Do you want to watch a movie?” he asks Jimmy, who is quietly watching Dean move around.

 

“Sure,” Jimmy says, lips curving around the bottle. Dean has to swallow before he can say anything else. The man is too damn tempting for his own good. Dean figures that’s why he’s running a porn website.

 

“What do you want to watch? Any preferences?” Dean finally says when he’s regained his brain capacity again.

 

Jimmy shrugs. “Not really. I mean, I prefer animated movies. I love Disney’s work. And DreamWorks Studios. And Studio Ghibli.” Jimmy feels himself redden at his sudden outburst, but Dean just laughs.

 

“Tell me which Ghibli movie you want to see. I own all of them.”

 

Jimmy exhales quietly, and manages to scrounge up a smile. “Spirited Away, please.”

 

They get further into the movie than Dean expected. He also doesn’t expect Jimmy to be so engrossed in what is probably one of his favourite movies. Jimmy must have seen it too often already, so Dean is left wondering why the man is still watching so intently. He decides not to question it and instead sit back and enjoy the movie.

 

***

 

Dean wakes with a terrible crick in his neck, and hot breath in his left ear.

 

“Damn,” he mutters, and moves his head from the pillow he was laying on, which also moves.

 

“Dean? Are you awake?” a voice asks to his left.

 

Dean groans as he realises that he isn’t lying on top of a pillow in an uncomfortable position. He was laying on Jimmy’s shoulder. “I am now.”

 

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry if I did,” Jimmy says, apology clear in his voice.

 

“Yeah, no, you didn’t wake me,” Dean mumbles back, still half asleep. “My neck woke me up. We should probably move to the bed.” The shocked gasp and following silence that greets Dean’s statement makes Dean rethink his sentence. “Fuck. What did I just say.”

 

“Did you just…” Jimmy seems to have to search for the right words. “Did you just ask me to sleep with you?”

 

“I guess I did,” Dean replies after a few seconds. He… he asked Jimmy to sleep with him. Literally. Maybe not in the sexy sleep-with-me kind of way, but still. No wonder Jimmy is kind of shocked. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I mean… I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t mean to… blurt that out. I have no filter.”

 

Jimmy chuckles. “I’ve noticed that now, yeah.” Dean hears him take a deep breath, and then blow it out again. “I’ll take you up on that invitation, though. If I can borrow a toothbrush and a t-shirt, that is.”

 

Dean exhales softly, and then laughs. “Thanks, dude. Of course you can stay.”

 

After some shuffling around, and trying to get past each other in the small bathroom, they manage to get their teeth brushed and changed into their sleeping gear for the night. Dean is still feeling mildly embarrassed when they finally climb into bed together, but when Jimmy snuggles in close, Dean just feels that he’s made a good decision in accidentally asking Jimmy to stay the night.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

##  [[Chapter 4]]

The next morning, Dean wakes up to soft kisses on the back of his neck and warm hands slowly finding their way over his chest. Dean feels a smile break out on his face and relishes the feel of strong hands on his chest. He finds himself turning around to face Jimmy, and presses a soft kiss to the man’s lips.

 

“Good morning,” he whispers when his eyes find Jimmy’s. He moves in closer and gasps when his morning wood brushes against Jimmy’s thigh. He wonders if Jimmy feels the same, and if they… if they could possibly act on this. The moan he hears when Jimmy grinds his hips into Dean’s answers it for him. Jimmy probably feels the same. Dean kisses Jimmy again, this time deeper and more passionate. He winces at his morning breath but decides that it’s worth it if they get frisky. Jimmy is enthusiastic, and it makes Dean feel even more hopeful. He needs to check, though, however much it might ruin the mood.

 

“Jimmy?” Dean asks, withdrawing from his lips and body to make sure the man listens to him. Jimmy whines at the loss of contact but Dean presses on. “Are you sure about this? I mean, we’ve been going slow and steady and we haven’t made out yet like we just did and now we’re about to–”

 

“Shut up,” Jimmy whispers, and pulls Dean in for another kiss. “I’ve been trying but you make it all so hard. I just… I can’t wait anymore. I want you.” Jimmy punctuates his words by kissing Dean after each and every single one of them. Dean chuckles but melts into them and accepts Jimmy’s admission.

 

Dean moans and kisses Jimmy back, and _why_ did he propose they wear t-shirts to bed last night? Now they are in the way and he _really_ wants to touch Jimmy’s nipples to see if they really are as sensitive as they always seem in his videos. Dean just starts tugging at the hem of Jimmy’s shirt and tries to pull it off without breaking their kiss. Jimmy laughs and softly pushes at Dean’s chest to get them to separate for a few seconds, just to remove their shirts.

 

“I didn’t know you were this impatient, Dean,” Jimmy teases, his hands roaming over Dean’s newly uncovered chest that was now his to touch. “You have already seen me so often…”

 

Dean gasps when Jimmy’s lips find his nipple and bite it softly. “Fuck, _fuck_. You play dirty.”

 

Jimmy laughs again, a deep sound reverberating through his chest, and Dean can _feel_ it. “I know,” the man answers. “I always do.” Jimmy then continues to lave Dean’s nipple, occasionally biting but mostly licking and sucking. Dean has never had such an attentive lover before – not one who paid so much attention to such a small part of Dean’s body. Most of them just went straight for his dick and that was it. Jimmy seems to like to take his time with everything, which is a massive turn on for Dean.

 

After a few minutes, his nipples start to feel sore, and Dean twists a hand in Jimmy’s hair to pull him up. He wants to kiss him again, and really, he needs some time to cool down before he blows his load too soon. The kiss starts out frenzied, but as Dean works on _not coming right that second_ he also slows down. It is just a lazy slide of tongues by the time Dean feels Jimmy can return to pouring his hands and mouth all over Dean. Dean wants to do something back, though, and he knows that Jimmy is hard, too – felt it when he pulled the man up to kiss him again.

 

So Dean goes down on him, hands pushing Jimmy’s boxers down and then immediately fondling Jimmy’s balls, and his lips slowly wrapping themselves around Jimmy’s length. The man’s cock is impressive, even more so off-screen now Dean can compare it to his own. He’s large and broad and Dean can’t wait until that gorgeous dick is fully inside him. That would have to wait, though, as he really wants to fit it all into his mouth today, rather than his ass. They’ve been going slow, and it feels weird to just fall into fucking right away instead of taking the sexual aspect of their relationship slow as well. He _wants_ to take it slow, he wants it to _last_. Before his thoughts drag him down further, he forces all of the emotions concerning the future into a box in a far corner of his mind, and slowly takes in more of Jimmy’s length.

 

“Fuck, Dean,” he hears Jimmy moan. “So good…”

 

Dean beams at the praise and continues to move up and down along the length while sinking down further every time. Jimmy is bigger than anyone he’s ever taken, but he knows he can do it – he just needs to relax and ignore his gag reflex and he’ll be _fine_. He’s still playing with Jimmy’s balls and judging by the way they are drawing in more and more, he has been doing a good job. Dean knows Jimmy is close and lets go of Jimmy’s dick to smile wickedly at the man.

 

“I haven’t gotten tested in a while, but you probably have, haven’t you?” Dean asks. He wants to swallow Jimmy down, but if there’s any chance that he isn’t clean, Dean won’t do it. He knows it might be too late for that now – they’ve swapped saliva and he’s pretty sure he’s already swallowed some of Jimmy’s precome, but it still weighs heavily on Dean’s mind.

 

“I have,” Jimmy confirms. “I have to, of course. I’m clean, and I’m really enjoying myself, but I think I want us to finish at the same time, and… I want to be able to look at you when you come.” Jimmy looks away with a blush, which Dean thinks is adorable.

 

“Why?” Dean asks, interest piqued.

 

Jimmy’s gaze remains focused on a point just above Dean’s head. “Why what?” He knows exactly what Dean is talking about.  


“Why do you want to see me come?” Dean clarifies, and he sees Jimmy’s face redden even more. It can’t be that bad, as Jimmy’s dick twitches in Dean’s hand while he asks.

 

“I… I like… I mean,” Jimmy stammers, and takes a deep breath. “I like seeing the faces people make when they come. It pushes me over the edge most of the time,” he confesses, face averted and voice quiet.

 

“Are you… ashamed of that?” Dean asks, almost forgetting that they were in the middle of steamy sex when he feels Jimmy’s erection soften. He sets a slow and steady rhythm with his hand to keep Jimmy hard.

 

“It’s a kink,” Jimmy admits. “Most people are… put off somehow, when I tell them about it.”

 

“I’m not,” Dean reassures him, and pulls Jimmy into a tender kiss. “I think I might like it too.”

 

Jimmy kisses back, and they fall back into the buzz they had going on before their talk. Dean snatches the lube off the bedside table, and lubes up his hands. He doesn’t want to draw it out any further, and even though he didn’t get to blow Jimmy to completion, he does want the both of them to come. And he _does_ want Jimmy to see him when he comes, so he figures that a simple handjob would also do that. He gently takes Jimmy’s dick into his hands and creates a tunnel with his hands to hold both of their cocks in his hands. Jimmy immediately starts thrusting in, and Dean moans at the sensation of another dick sliding past his own. He hasn’t felt anything like it quite some time, so he revels in the feeling. He knows that it won’t be a one-time only thing, and that knowledge helps him relax into this more and more.

 

“Dean,” Jimmy moans, and Dean licks his lips. He wants them both to come, and he knows he’s close to the edge, but he doesn’t know if Jimmy is as well.

 

“Close, Jimmy.” Dean nibbles lightly on Jimmy’s neck to muffle his own moans and groans.

 

Jimmy doesn’t reply but starts thrusting even harder, and while Dean gets progressively louder the closer he gets to climaxing, Jimmy only grows quieter until they both come within a few seconds of each other. Dean’s moan is loud but Jimmy’s sigh of pleasure is so soft Dean almost doesn’t hear it if he weren’t so focused on Jimmy’s face.

 

With a sigh of his own, Dean kisses Jimmy, and lets go of their sticky dicks, reaching over the side of the bed to get a towel to clean them up a little. Ideally, they’d be getting up and taking a shower, but Dean is often pretty lethargic after an orgasm, and he doesn’t feel like getting up _at all_. He just wants to kiss Jimmy until they _have_ to move.

 

They kiss lazily for a few minutes until Jimmy starts squirming, and Dean has to let him up. He decidedly _does not_ watch Jimmy’s naked ass when the man almost sprints towards the toilet. A smile remains on Dean’s face even as Jimmy falls back into the bed a few minutes later, and when Jimmy kisses him, it only grows. He likes the man a lot, and he definitely wouldn’t mind dating him indefinitely. Jimmy’s enthusiasm is overwhelming at times, but Dean absolutely loves it – loves _him_. Which is when it strikes Dean that he’s already fallen in love with the man lying next to him. Ridiculous, he knows, but he simply can’t help himself. Jimmy is perfect.

 


	5. Chapter 5

##  [[Chapter 5]]

 

When Dean talks to Charlie online –a little less often now than before he met Jimmy – she notices that something’s off about him. He tries to wave her concerns away but it doesn’t really work. It actually only serves to make her more annoying, but Dean can’t really find the will to stop talking to her so he just tries to evade her questions.

 

So when the phone rings while he’s getting dirty with Jimmy, Dean just sighs and looks at Jimmy with a pleading look on his face. “Can I please let that one go to voicemail?”

 

Jimmy laughs. “That’s your girlfriend, right?”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Dean says indignantly, kissing Jimmy once more. “More like an annoying best friend who is checking up on me because she has seen me at my worst and knows I’m hiding something.”

 

“Pick up, then,” Jimmy encourages, while already picking up his shirt and shrugging it on. Dean looks at him and pouts at the loss of the gorgeous naked chest that was there just seconds ago. He sighs again as he picks up the phone.

 

“Hey Charles,” he greets, and he knows he sounds miserable when Jimmy shoots him a look that clearly says that he should try to be cheerful.

 

“Are you okay?” she asks, not bothering to greet him at all.

 

Dean rolls his eyes at Jimmy, and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, you just interrupted me.”

 

“Can’t be too serious if you took my call.”

 

“If I hadn’t taken it, you’d just have called every three seconds,” Dean says, and sighs. “Okay, I’ll bit. Why are you calling me? I’d like to get back to what I was doing.” He locks eyes with Jimmy and licks his lips in an exaggerated manner and wiggles his eyebrows in invitation. Jimmy just gives him the finger.

 

“You’ve been ignoring me and my questions, Winchester,” Charlie says, her tone accusatory. “So I _demand_ to know what you’ve been hiding from me all this time. As your Queen you should tell me.”

 

Dean looks away from Jimmy and bites his lip. “You’re not my queen, and it’s kind of big, Charlie,” Dean whispers. “And I’m just… I’m not sure if I can do that right now.”

 

“But you have been happier, right?”  


“Yeah.”

 

“So tell me, then,” she encourages. “Tell me what’s got you so happy.”

 

Dean looks at Jimmy, who is smiling slightly at Dean’s obvious nerves. It only takes him a split second to decide. Of course Jimmy will support him in this decision. “Can you give me a minute? I need to check something, and then I’ll be on Skype so we can video chat. It’ll be easier.”

 

“Sure,” Charlie says, even though Dean can hear her apprehension over the phone. “That’s all right. I’ll call you once you’re online okay?”

 

“Yeah. See ya.” With a sigh, Dean hangs up the phone and turns around to face Jimmy. “Is it incredibly stupid of me to not have asked you if you wanted to meet my best friend? As my boyfriend?”

 

“Not really,” Jimmy shrugs. “She obviously cares for you so why would you not want to introduce us?”  


Dean looks away again. “I’m… I don’t know. I just… She’s always trying her best for me and I feel like letting her down somehow?”

 

“That’s bullshit, Dean,” Jimmy says gently. “You know it is. I can imagine that it’s hard for you to introduce me because she’s your best friend and she might not approve of me, but really, that seems kind of far-fetched. She will probably approve of anyone who makes you happy. She knows everything about you, and she still loves you. She’ll just be mad if you hide it.”

 

“I know she does. It’s just hard.”

 

“I know, Dean, but it’s too late to hide me now, okay?” Jimmy smiles and then snickers. “That reminds me, maybe you should put on a t-shirt to cover up all your hickeys?”  


“I don’t know,” Dean answers, now smiling a still wobbly smile. “If you’re going to be in the shot, she knows where I got them, at least.”

 

Eventually, they just settle for the t-shirt and sit down in front of Dean’s computer together. Jimmy is sitting next to Dean and holds his hand while he logs into Skype.

 

“Man, it’s so weird to talk to your best friend on a computer that you’ve watched me on. Naked. Several times at least.”

 

Dean blushes, and hides his face in his hands. “You are the worst, you know.”

 

“And yet you like me.”

 

“Yes, I do.” Dean looks up again, kisses Jimmy on the cheek, and clicks Charlie’s icon to call her. “Time to face the music now.”

 

Charlie picks up on the second ring and squeals the second she sees the two of them. “You’ve been hiding _him_? Oh my god, he’s so cute, what’s his name, _tell me all about him, Dean_!”

 

Dean chuckles nervously. “He’s Jimmy, and he’s my boyfriend.”

 

“That was pretty brief,” Jimmy says drily, and then waves at Charlie. “Hi Charlie, I’m Jimmy Novak.”

 

“Charlie Bradbury,” she replies with a smile on her face. “Man, I did not really expect this, you know. I thought Dean looked happier on our Skype calls but I figured it was a car thing or something, but maaan…” She sighs happily. “A boyfriend. Dean Winchester found himself a boyfriend.”

 

“Yup,” Dean says. “So… is that enough?”

 

“I kind of want to know everything there is to know about him, Dean,” Charlie says, her tone reprimanding as if Dean should have known that already. “Tell me, what do you do for work? How old are you? How many people did you date before Dean? Do you have any siblings? Hobbies? What’s your favourite porn channel?”

 

Jimmy clears his throat uncomfortably. “I… I don’t know how to answer a lot of your questions. I’m thirty-one, and don’t have any siblings that I know of, since I was adopted. I have a lot of hobbies, mainly photography and reading and going out on long hikes. I love the beach. I dated… two people before Dean.”

 

“You skipped the two best questions, Jimmy-boy,” Charlie says. “Maybe Dean can tell me…?”  


“Oh man, this is awkward,” Dean whispers to Jimmy, and he sees Charlie eying them suspiciously.

 

“What’s awkward?” she asks, and she has that face that says that she’s going to wait out until one of them caves. Jimmy licks his lips nervously, and takes a deep breath.

 

“Sooo… I might own my own porn studio?” he says to no one in particular. Charlie squeals immediately (again), and claps her hands together excitedly.

 

“Ohhhhhhhh goooood,” she says. “Wow. Do I know you? Have I ever watched anything from you?”  


“I don’t think so,” Dean says quickly, mainly to save Jimmy. “I mean, unless you’ve watched a lot of gay porn lately.”

 

“And paid a rather large sum to watch it,” Jimmy adds.

 

“How do you know, Dean?” Charlie asks. “Did he tell you?”

 

Dean blushes and looks away again. “Charlie, do you _have_ to ask me these kinds of questions?”

 

“Yup, I’m obliged by the best-gay-friend-that-finally-sees-her-best-friend-get-laid contract.” Charlie laughs. “No seriously, I’m interested. How did you two meet? And did you know each other beforehand?”

 

“I did,” Dean says, resigned. “I did watch his videos.” Dean’s voice tapers off and he knows for sure that they can’t hear him when he murmurs, “and I kind of fell in love with him then.”

 

***

 

Luckily, Charlie lets them off the hook after they promise to check in more often. With another sigh, Dean hangs up and curls up around Jimmy.

 

“God, I wish we didn’t have to do this at all,” he murmurs.

 

“What? You introducing me to other people?” Jimmy huffs. “It’s part of being in a relationship, Dean. I don’t know what’s got you so scared but it _will_ be okay.”

 

“I’m just afraid of how Sam will react,” Dean mumbles into Jimmy’s shoulder, and Jimmy hugs him tighter. “I haven’t exactly told him about… about any of my relationships in the past few years.”

 

“Well, you don’t have to tell him everything, of course. I think he might appreciate it, though.”

 

“I think I’m not up to it today.”

 

“I think the only thing you’re up to today is more cuddling. Maybe finishing what Charlie interrupted?” Dean smiles at Jimmy and tries to curl even closer. Jimmy just kisses him and sighs. “But we do need to get up and move this to the bedroom. I’m not going to fuck you on the couch.”

 

***

 

Later that day, they finally manage to get up again, and Dean feels the need to clear up why he behaves the way he does.

 

“Jimmy,” he says, getting the man’s attention. Even though Jimmy is moving around in Dean’s apartment like he belongs there, it still feels off to Dean to be taking so much of his time. He takes a deep breath and looks the man straight in the eye. “I’m scared to tell Sam because he doesn’t know that I also like men.” He knows he’s said it hurriedly and that maybe Jimmy doesn’t fully catch what he says, but it’s out, at least.

 

“Hm,” Jimmy says, and Dean bites his lip. That wasn’t exactly what he expected Jimmy to say. He was – is still – kind of counting on Jimmy being supportive, and this… isn’t really it?

 

“Jim?”

 

“I was just thinking if I could come up with a psychological explanation for that.” Jimmy smiles and pulls Dean in closer. “I just don’t know any off the top of my head. But thanks for telling me. We don’t have to tell your brother yet, even though I think he’ll love you anyway.”

 

Dean snuggles in with Jimmy and sighs. “That doesn’t always make it easier to tell.”

 

“I know,” Jimmy says, and then backtracks. “I mean, I have a feeling I know. I never had to tell any siblings.”

 

“About what? Your porn studio? The lingerie modelling?” Dean laughs. “Yeah, that must also be hard. What about your parents, by the way? Did you tell them what you do?”

 

“What?” Jimmy asks, face adorably scrunched up in confusion. “My what?”

 

“Parents? You know, those who raise you?” Dean asks, confused as to why Jimmy doesn’t get what he means by ‘his parents’.

 

“No, no, no.” Jimmy shakes his head. “I get that. I meant the other part of your sentence. You asked if I told tell them about the porn studio or the… lingerie modelling?”

 

“Yeah,” Dean says slowly. “I mean, they are amazing so why would you be ashamed of them? It’s maybe even easier to explain than owning a porn studio.”

 

“But Dean, that’s kind of the point.” Jimmy sighs. “I have never done any lingerie shoots. I mean, I can see the appeal of pretty underwear on people, but I’ve never once enjoyed wearing it myself. Or model it, while we’re at it.”

 

“Not?” is the one thing Dean can produce while he’s speechless. He could have sworn that it was Jimmy’s face staring up at him in the magazine he just got this morning, but he’ll have to check that later.

 

“Nope, not me,” Jimmy confirms. “But don’t let that keep you from enjoying those panties.”

 

Dean blushes. “Did you… know?”

 

“Yeah,” Jimmy smiles. “I mean, you can’t expect me to go grab you a change of underwear and not see the stacks of panties next to your boxers. So yeah, I know. And I will definitely have you wear them at some point.” Dean exhales quietly and he manages to calm down a little more in Jimmy’s embrace. “I meant what I said, you know. I do enjoy the visual of people wearing panties. It’s just not my thing.”

 

“Thanks,” Dean says, and settles back into Jimmy’s embrace. “I appreciate it. All of it.” He chuckles. “We still haven’t talked about your parents, but we can do that later if you want. I mean… I’m actually more interested in trying on my panties right now.”

 

“Agreed.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

##  [[Chapter 6]]

A few months later, Dean and Jimmy are still going strong, and while the talk to Charlie didn’t exactly go as planned, they had decided to tell Sam as well. Actually, Jimmy was the one to propose it, and Dean quietly agreed. He couldn’t keep his brother out of the loop forever, and they got off with just a mild scolding from Sam for keeping their relationship from him for three months.

 

Dean gets in his car with a sigh and drives the twenty minutes it takes him to get to Jimmy’s house. They haven’t seen each other all week – Jimmy was busy with a porn shoot involving actual well-known porn stars and they were very demanding apparently (if Dean could go on Jimmy’s texts, which got more and more frustrated), and Dean had been in another state altogether for a car show featuring some of the cars he restored. Now that he finally gets to see his lover again he’s excited. Dean loves Jimmy’s house: it’s a two-storey detached house with partially thatched roof, and it reminds Dean of his childhood home. Maybe that’s why he likes it so much and doesn’t mind driving out every other day to stay over with Jimmy. Sometimes he wonders why he hasn’t moved in yet, and then he remembers that they have are only been together for half a year and that it’d rather ridiculous. They might be adults but that doesn’t mean they have to make hasty decisions.

 

When he drives up the driveway – Jimmy has an actual driveway! – he looks up at the house and sees Jimmy already waiting for him outside, on the porch. It’s a beautiful day, and he’s pretty sure that they are going to spend the whole day outside if it’s up to Jimmy. Dean is already smiling before he’s even parked and gotten out.

 

“Hi sweetheart,” Dean greets, and kisses Jimmy as soon as he’s within reach. He licks his lips before confessing: “I think I kind of missed you this week.”

 

“I missed you too,” Jimmy sighs into Dean’s hair as they simply hold on for a few more minutes. Dean knows that he is safe and, even though they haven’t yet said the words, loved. It’s the best feeling in the world.

 

After a few minutes Jimmy clears his throat and motions for Dean to actually come inside. “I’ve got half a mind to just lead you up to my bedroom and not let you leave for a few days but I doubt that’s going to go over well, and I want to hear about your week,” Jimmy says with a chuckle.

 

“You could keep me in your bedroom regardless, Jimmy,” Dean replies with a smile. “I wouldn’t dare refuse that.”

 

“Or I could tie you up,” Jimmy says casually, like he didn’t just drop ideas for a scene into a conversation. “Then you wouldn’t be able to leave.”

 

“Hm,” is all Dean replies, and Jimmy’s smile widens.

 

“Do we need to discuss this, Dean?” Jimmy asks with an innocent smile as he stretches, purposefully showing his flat and toned stomach to Dean.

 

“Dude,” Dean whines. “Can we just jump into bed and like… stop teasing me so much? I’ve missed you a lot.”

 

“I know. You told me.”

 

“You are the worst,” Dean grumbles as he follows Jimmy into the kitchen. “If you weren’t going to make it happen, why even _suggest_ it? Now I’m all… hot and bothered.”

 

“That was my intention,” Jimmy smirks, and points at the apples on the counter. “But I was going to make you a pie. You came a little earlier than expected, and now I still need to peel and slice all the apples. Maybe you can help me out.”

 

“Of course I can,” Dean says affronted, and slips right behind Jimmy to get a knife to start peeling. “But I’m expecting a large slice of pie once it’s finished. And you don’t get to complain about it.”

 

“I won’t,” Jimmy promises. “So, tell me about the car show. Did you enjoy it?”  


***

 

A few hours later they are outside, as Dean had expected from the beginning. Jimmy loves the outdoors, even though he doesn’t always have time to go on walks. He might own his own studios, but he still has to be in at the same hours as the porn actors, editors, and directors, especially if he is starring in the film. Dean has been pushing Jimmy to take a holiday and go on break, but Jimmy has been dismissive, and that is where their conversation ended.

 

Now, they are just sitting in silence in the lush grass, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their skin. There is no wind, and the weather is absolutely splendid to enjoy. Dean is slightly disappointed that Jimmy doesn’t have a pool, and that’s the first thing he voices in the silence between them.

 

“Dude, I wish you had a pool. It’s an amazing day to be relaxing near the water. Maybe some naked tanning or skinny dipping or something. Would be amazing.”

 

Jimmy chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t think that would work out very well for you or me, Dean,” he says. “I don’t think we’d be tanning so much as getting weird white stripes all over ourselves.”

 

“You may be right,” Dean concedes. “But still. Why don’t you have a pool yet?”

 

“It’s on my list,” Jimmy says. “I just haven’t gotten to the point where I can share it with someone, and just having one on my own feels weird to me. I wouldn’t use it anyway, just to lie beside it when it’s hot and sunny.”

 

“That’s what you’ve got me for, then,” Dean says, and Jimmy looks at Dean as if he sees him for the first time again. “What?” Dean frowns. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  


“Because I’ve been thinking about something like that for a few days now. I miss you every time, and we have to travel so much to see each other–”

 

“That’s not true,” Dean interjects. “It’s like twenty minutes. That’s not a lot. It’s eight hours to visit my brother.”

 

“Okay, okay. But if I want to have sex with you, I have to get in the car, drive for twenty minutes, and then I have to see if you’re home. I was wondering…” Jimmy grows shy all of a sudden, and rubs a hand over the back of his neck, a nervous gesture that he seems to have picked up from Dean. “You know what, never mind. You’re… I’m stupid in even wanting to ask.”

 

“Try me, Jimmy,” Dean says, reaching out to take Jimmy’s hand. “If you don’t ask, you’ll never know.”

 

“Doyouwanttomoveinwithme?” Jimmy blurts and it takes Dean a few seconds to process the question and understand why that is such a big question for Jimmy. Of course, now he has to give up his privacy, and if they break it off, it’s not just that Dean knows almost everything about him, but also about the porn studio. Living in the same house, and extracting all Dean’s stuff from Jimmy’s might be a nuisance. Their stuff was already all over both their places, though, and Dean isn’t even surprised anymore when he finds something that’s Jimmy’s in his apartment. It hasn’t really worked the other way around, but it might as well start soon.

 

Dean grins. “Of course, sweetheart,” he says. “Of course I want to live with you. We’ve basically already been living together for months now… it’s just a formality.”

 

Jimmy looks exhilarated and relieved and he immediately goes in to kiss Dean. “I didn’t want to ask you like this. I had been planning a whole setup you know. Tonight, we’d be having a romantic dinner and I’d ask you, but… I just… I just couldn’t help it. I had to ask you right now.”

 

“I thought about it,” Dean admits. “While I was in the car, earlier today. I just thought how stupid it was that we weren’t living together already. I thought that… you know, we’re adults, and this was just… us taking it slowly, establishing that we were actually good together before starting this whole living together thing, or whatever.”

 

“Yeah,” Jimmy says. “I just…. I was just fed up with it.”

 

“Me too.” Dean hugs Jimmy and presses a soft kiss on the tip of Jimmy’s nose. “So can we go celebrate now? I feel like it.”

 

“You always feel like celebrating,” Jimmy mutters when Dean’s lips slowly descend from his nose to his lips and lower. Instead of replying, Dean just nibbles softly on Jimmy’s neck, and gets his hands under Jimmy’s t-shirt. He’s glad that they decided to change into loose t-shirts and sweatpants after baking the apple pie, because it’s easier access for him now. Jimmy is apparently already resigned to his fate ( _As if he’s ever really trying to stop me_ , Dean thinks) and they just lie down in the grass to enjoy the softness of it while heavily making out.

 

“You don’t have any neighbours who could enjoy the show, right?” Dean pants while rucking up Jimmy’s shirt even further. “Please tell me you don’t.”

 

“No,” Jimmy moans into Dean’s shoulder. “They can’t see us here.”

 

“Thank God,” Dean mutters, and quickly disposes of Jimmy’s shirt, and then his own. It’s hot anyway, so they don’t even have to pretend that there’s something going on even _if_ one of the neighbours saw them, but it’s kind of different with Dean planning to end up with their dicks outside of their pants as well.

 

He wants to take his time – Jimmy just asked him to move in together so it’s a milestone now – but at the same time he really, really doesn’t. He can already feel the hard earth more than he thought possible, and he really wants to keep his back in order, thank you very much. So he decides to get his move on. The kissing was already good, and because he knows exactly what turns Jimmy on – he’s a quick student – he can get Jimmy ready to go in about ten seconds. Dean knows it’s kind of cheating to do that, but at this point, he doesn’t really care. His lips find Jimmy’s nipple and with light suckling and a few bites, the sounds Jimmy produces start to sound a little more desperate than Dean intended. Still, he thinks it’s just proof of how far gone the both of them are.

 

He lets go of the right nub and goes for the left one, and gives it exactly the same treatment but softer, more gentle. He knows Jimmy’s as close as he is so he doesn’t need to hurry up to get him going. He revels in Jimmy’s quiet sounds, and his hands start wandering, teasing over Jimmy’s right nipple, caressing his arms and shoulders, and they come to rest on his hipbones.

 

“May I?” Dean whispers when Jimmy stills. Jimmy just nods, and Dean slowly pushes the sweatpants and underwear off Jimmy’s hips. He doesn’t think it’s necessary to remove them ompletely – they don’t have any lube on hand, and Dean is _not_ going to take anything up his ass dry – and Jimmy not being able to move anything below his knees is already something precious to Dean, as it gets him all hot and bothered. He smiles and kisses Jimmy slowly, sensually. When Dean breaks the kiss, he looks Jimmy in the eye and spits on his right hand, moving to take his cock in hand.

 

When he only knew Jimmy through watching porn, he could only guess the feel and size of Jimmy’s cock, but now that he’s had it in his hands more often than he could count, he knows that it’s absolutely perfect. Jimmy is large, thick and uncut and just the thought of his cock can get Dean going right away. Now that he’s finally feeling it again, the heavy weight of it in his hands, he knows that there’s no way back for _him_ either.

 

Dean slowly strokes Jimmy’s dick, and listens for his partner’s soft moans and sighs of pleasure. Dean doesn’t necessarily always have to get off, and sometimes getting his partner to climax is enough for him, too. Today is not one of those days, so he lets go of Jimmy’s dick to push his own sweats and plain boxers down, and takes his dick in hand, jacking it slowly. Dean knows he’s close already, and that it won’t take very long for him to come as soon as _Jimmy_ comes. Jimmy sounds like he’s almost there too, as if Dean’s loose hand around him isn’t quite enough. Dean spits in his hands again, and takes them both in hand to create a tunnel to thrust into. They might not go into full penetrative sex right now, but the pressure of a hand and another dick is amazing, and it does not take long before Jimmy is actually sighing a litany of curses and _Dean_ s and is coming in long white ropes over Dean’s hands. Dean is only seconds behind him and comes with a soft sigh, collapsing on top of Jimmy when the strength leaves his arms.

 

“Damn,” Jimmy says. “I don’t think I’ve seen you’ve been this spontaneous in the past six months.”

 

“Hmhm,” Dean sighs, and simply nods. He doesn’t really have energy to do anything else. He would like to get up and maybe use one of their t-shirts to get rid of the mixed come on their chests, but it feels like such a big job, and he just wants to cuddle up with Jimmy some more before they inevitably have to move.

 

Jimmy makes the decision for him and nudges Dean away. Dean rolls off of him and just lies in the grass, staring at the blue sky. It’s still warm outside, but he can feel the come cooling on his chest and he grimaces. He sees that Jimmy is already cleaning himself up and when Jimmy moves over to Dean to clean him up too, it starts to sound like a good idea.

 

Dean takes the t-shirt from Jimmy when he hands it over and quickly cleans himself up as much as possible, and then he turns on his side to watch Jimmy, who is already standing up and stretching. The man looks so good, Dean is still unsure how he got so lucky as to call Jimmy his. He thinks it will probably be a mystery forever, because when he told Jimmy, Jimmy said that he thought exactly the same. _Aren’t we two a pair_ , Dean thinks, and snickers. He loves Jimmy – he knows that – and he also knows that moving in together will make them or break them. It’s always worked exactly like that for Dean. Whenever he moved in together with his partner, they found out in about a month if they were actually compatible or not. Dean is definitely not afraid for his and Jimmy’s relationship, as they are already pretty solid, but he is still feeling a little apprehensive. He knows nothing will go wrong, but what if it did? Would he eventually be able to move on?

 

Dean only notices that he has spaced out and that Jimmy is staring at him because Jimmy clears his throat loudly to get Dean’s attention. “Sorry,” Dean says, getting up and stretching as well. “I got slightly distracted.”

 

“I noticed,” Jimmy answers. “I can be distracting. Anyway, let’s go back inside and take a shower. I’m sticky.”

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

##  [[Chapter 7]]

 

Living together with Jimmy turns out to be surprisingly easy for Dean. When he was freaking out about going to live with Jimmy and fucking up their relationship, he didn’t stop to think about why his previous relationships never worked out but now that he finally has time to sit in his office for a few minutes without being ambushed, it suddenly strikes him: he wasn’t at fault. All of his failing relationships were because they didn’t communicate, or didn’t actually like each other. Jimmy is different – Jimmy is exactly what Dean needs.

 

And domesticity suits the both of them very well. As soon as Dean and Jimmy informed Charlie she was determined to visit them, and Sam had sent them a card that said _Good luck you asses_. Now that he’s actually settled into Jimmy’s house (or _their_ house, which is still weird) Dean notices the small things about Jimmy he loves or hates. Luckily, he’s finding a lot of things to love and surprisingly few he absolutely hates.

 

He loves how considerate Jimmy is, and now that they are living together, it is even clearer that Jimmy cares an awful lot about Dean.

 

“Did you know that you were one of the first people to pay for my porn, Dean?” Jimmy says one day. They are sitting on the couch, enjoying a beer and watching television, so the question surprises Dean. He doesn’t know how to react. Jimmy just continues, “I mean, that has got to be something… You’ve been watching my porn for two years, and I started two and a half years ago. It’s… I didn’t expect anyone to stick with me for that long. But apparently… you did.”

 

“Where does this come from?” Dean asks, suddenly suspicious. He doesn’t know where the topic is leading but it can’t be anything good. “Are you implying I have a porn addiction?”

 

“No, not at all,” Jimmy says, laughing. “I’m just glad. I mean, I’m in a relationship with someone who already knew about my porn business. That makes life a whole lot easier, you know. I don’t have to explain to you what I do, and I inform you when I’m in one of the shoots so… you know. I never thought this dynamic would work so easily.”

 

“That makes two of us,” Dean mumbles, still wary of whatever road Jimmy is going down.

 

“You are still paying, aren’t you?” Jimmy asks all of a sudden.

 

“I think so,” Dean answers, while trying to recall if he cancelled his subscription or not. “I can’t remember cancelling, at least, so that has to be something.”

 

“Hm,” Jimmy muses. “In that case, you are officially the first paying customer who is going to get a tour of the studios during a shoot.”

 

Dean has just taken a sip of his beer, so he sprays it everywhere when his loud “What?” shoots out of him unexpectedly. He coughs and tries to clear his throat before he can talk again.

 

“Sorry about all that, but did you just invite me to your studio?” Dean asks incredulously. “Did you forget about how that was supposedly the one thing you wanted to keep for yourself?”  


“Yeah,” Jimmy says sheepishly while wiping stray drops of beer from his face. “But I realised that if we are sharing our lives like we do – and we’re practically married already, dude – I should at least give you a tour of the studio so you know where I work. After all, I’ve already seen where you work.”

 

“That was different,” Dean protests. “You came in because your car broke down. And it was a long-ass time ago.”

 

“Still,” Jimmy insists. “You need to see where I work, and how non-sexy it can be.”

 

Dean smiles. “Okay. I mean, I always wanted to see where you worked but that had something to do with the fact that you make porn, but now I also want to see it because _you_ work there, you know. So you don’t really have to convince me to tag along. Just make sure that you want to share this with me as well, because I can understand if you don’t want to.”

 

“So you want to come and see?”  


“I definitely want to _come_ ,” Dean leers, and Jimmy just sighs.

 

“Of course you want to, Dean. We’ll schedule the tour as soon as possible. I want you to see an amazing shooting day.”

 

“Yeah,” Dean says, suggestive smile still on his face. “So are we going to take up my comment as well?”

 

Dean definitely loves Jimmy a lot.

 

***

 

But one of the things Dean absolutely hates has to be how Jimmy is always late texting Dean that he won’t be in that night, or that he’s going to be late. Like today. Dean checks his phone, and yup, there it is.

 

 **[Jimmy <3:] **Sorry, shoot is running late. Will be home around 10 instead :/

 

Dean sighs and hits reply.

 

 **[Me:]** okay, take care. Want me to heat something for you?

 

 **[Jimmy <3:] **Yes pls. I’ll text when I leave.

 

 **[Me:]** k

 

Dean puts his phone down with a another sigh and finally gets up from the couch where he’d parked his ass to wait for Jimmy to come home. Which is apparently in about five hours instead of ten minutes. They were supposed to go out to have dinner tonight, but that’s not going to work out. Dean looks up the phone number for the restaurant and dials it with enough pressure that he’s afraid that he’s going to break his phone screen.

 

After cancelling and taking some time to calm down, he decides to go grocery shopping. They don’t go out for dinner that often because Dean enjoys cooking, but tonight had seemed perfect because they were out of food in the fridge. So now that they are _not_ going to eat out, he might as well go to the store one day early. He doesn’t feel like getting takeout at all, so he gets pen and a piece of paper and starts jotting down the meal plan for the upcoming week.

 

When he thought about living with Jimmy, he didn’t quite expect domesticity to involve _meal plans_ but they did, and it works for them.  They will each pick something they want to eat, and when they do their grocery shopping, they don’t have to wander around in the store while deciding on their food. They always draw up the plans on Sunday evening and go grocery shopping on Monday. Jimmy had apparently expected running late, because they already drafted their meal plans on Saturday, which Dean is now secretly grateful for. Dean scribbles down some of the ingredients he knows they don’t have any more and adds their normal weekly groceries as well. He picks a few bags to take with him and heads to the garage.

 

The Impala is safely parked there, sheltered from the weather. Jimmy doesn’t really care that much about his own car, but he does care about Dean’s, so they decided that the Impala is definitely the car that gets to stay in the enclosed space. He double checks that he has his wallet with him and leaves for the supermarket. They might be living in a small city, but they are still blessed with supermarkets that open on Sundays. Some people don’t agree, but Dean is glad they exist.

 

It doesn’t take long to get there and the parking lot is empty enough to find a spot to park with ease, and Dean is quick to get to the actual shopping. He doesn’t enjoy going out to do the groceries, but he knows that he has to and he just takes it all in stride. He grabs a cart, throws the bags in and starts for the fruits and vegetables. He hates how there’s always too much choice – but he will _get it done_.

 

It happens when he is debating which kind of tomato he should get. He’s on the verge of calling Jimmy to ask if he wanted Roma tomatoes or cherry tomatoes – they always trip him up – and looks up to just ask a store clerk if they know what the difference is when he sees him. The dark, mussed up hair is a dead giveaway, and Dean drops the tomatoes in his hand, indifferent to the mess they might make when they fall. He almost doesn’t take his cart but thinks better of it. He put his favourite bags in there and while that might not be much of an argument, he still takes the cart with him. Jimmy is supposed to be in his studio, _not_ in the supermarket.

 

Jimmy turns around a few corners and Dean loses him, but the slow simmer of anger in Dean’s bones doesn’t leave. He _needs_ to get the grocery shopping done, but he _wants_ to find Jimmy to scream at him for lying about where he is. It’s unacceptable.

 


	8. Chapter 8

##  [[Chapter 8]]

 

In the end, it doesn’t matter that Dean chooses to continue shopping. When he finally decides on which tomatoes he’s going to use, he goes to pay for his groceries. He knows there’s still anger simmering in his bones, and he is as friendly as possible with the cashier helping him, even though he knows that it’s only a matter of time before he explodes. It works, though, and he makes it through without snapping at the cashier. He walks back towards the Impala trying to control his breathing and calm down a little.

 

It’s only when he’s loading his groceries in the car that he feels like he has a grip on the situation again. Dean straightens himself out, pasting a smile on his face – it must have been a mistake. Jimmy can’t be here and it’s probably just someone who looks incredibly similar from the back. It simply _can’t_ have been Jimmy – so his eyes must have deceived him. He pushes his cart back to where he got it and even starts humming under his breath while he does so. Then he spots him again. The man is walking towards Dean, his face hidden because he’s looking at his phone, and Dean sees red.

 

“Jimmy!” he yells, and runs towards the man only to skid to a stop right in front of him and take a deep breath before continuing yelling. “Why the hell are you here? Why have you been lying to me? I thought you said you were still at the studio!”

 

“I’m sorry?” the man replies, head tilted to the side. “May I ask why you’re yelling at me? And why are you calling me Jimmy?”  


“Don’t pull stupid pranks right now, James Novak,” Dean growls. “You told me _just over an hour ago_ that you were going to be working late and now you are here in front of me? I should never have moved in with you.”

 

“I’m sorry,” the man says again. “My name isn’t Jimmy or James. You can call… Jimmy to verify. I’ve never met you, and I don’t know why you are yelling at me in the parking lot of a supermarket. Oh, and while we’re at it: we are definitely _not_ living together. I’d know if I shared a living space with someone as aesthetically pleasing as you.” The man blushes furiously after that, but keeps his gaze locked with Dean’s which Dean finds slightly unsettling.

 

Dean stares with a gaping mouth at the man in front of him and feels a blush creep onto his face. Now that his rant is complete, his anger is slowly morphing into something akin to horror and embarrassment, he can see that this is not really Jimmy. They look very much alike, but their hair is slightly different – this man’s hair looks even more untameable than Jimmy’s – and their voices are also different. Castiel’s voice is definitely a lot more gravelly than Jimmy’s. Also, Jimmy has never stared at him with _that_ intensity in his eyes. Dean takes his phone from his pocket without looking away from the man and dials Jimmy’s number. It rings twice before Jimmy answers the phone – and the man in front of him does not.

 

“Hey Dean,” Jimmy greets. “I wasn’t expecting you to call me. What’s up?”  


“I...” Dean says weakly. “Nothing. I must have accidentally called you. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Jimmy says, and Dean knows that Jimmy’s squinting at his phone in confusion but he doesn’t care. “See you later, babe.”

 

“See you.” With that, Dean ends the call and sighs. He looks at the man once more, and sighs again. “Look man, I’m sorry. I mistook you for my boyfriend. The two of you look… almost identical. It’s kind of weird. He told me he was still working and… I don’t know. Him working late has become such a pet peeve that it actually angered me, and I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please tell me how I can apologise properly.”

 

The man smiles and extends his hand. “We can at least introduce ourselves. I’m Castiel Milton, nice to meet you. Though I’d rather have met you under different circumstances.”

 

“Dean Winchester,” Dean replies, and shakes the man’s hand. He pushes a hand through his hair and laughs at himself. “I’ve never been good at first impressions, but this…”

 

“You could say that,” Castiel answers with the smile still on his face. “Still, you said your boyfriend looks like me? That makes you yelling at me more understandable, at least, especially if you believed he lied to you. I suppose it’s a fun story to tell at your wedding, though.”

 

“It definitely will,” Dean says. “So, how can I make it up to you?”

 

“Well, in my eyes you already have,” Castiel muses. “Even if you insist, I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. Maybe we should just… exchange phone numbers and let me get back to you on this?” The man flushes again, and stammers slightly when he continues. “I understand this is unorthodox, but I think we should go have a coffee sometime and just talk. Perhaps about this boyfriend of yours, or about my cats, or about what you do for a living… I don’t know.” Castiel stops rambling and flushes deeper red. “It’s not my intention to ask you out. I mean, I’m aware you have a boyfriend, otherwise I definitely would… but this is simply me asking you to meet with me sometime over coffee because I believe I’d enjoy your company regardless of your earlier outburst.” Castiel looks away, and mutters something Dean only barely catches but sounds suspiciously like “I don’t have a lot of friends.”

 

“Okay,” Dean says easily. “I would have fixed your car for free the rest of your life if you’d asked, so who am I to deny you a coffee date. Do you want me to bring Jimmy, or will it be just the two of us?”

 

“Will just the two of us be alright? I’d like to see if we can be friends,” Castiel says. He sounds awkward and unsure, and Dean almost feels the physical urge to touch him and soothe the man. “Besides, it might be weird to have two near-identical people in the immediate vicinity,” Castiel adds.

 

Dean laughs. “I get that, yeah.” He fumbles to get his phone out of his pocket again, and unlocks the screen to add Castiel as a new contact. Once he’s put Castiel in, he holds out the phone to him. “Here, add your number so I can text you.”

 

Castiel quickly does so, and Dean sends a text saying _This is Dean_ to the new number in his phone. Castiel takes out his phone and smiles when he sees the text. Dean takes a deep breath and licks his lips.

 

“It was lovely to meet you, Castiel, but I have to go,” he says, and he already regrets it when Castiel’s face falls. “I’ve got some frozen stuff in my car, and it needs to be put in the freezer asap. I’ll text you about a date and time for our coffee date, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Castiel says, and smiles at Dean. “It was nice to meet you too, and I’m looking forward to having that cup of coffee.”

 

“Me too,” Dean says, and he internally curses himself for _how much_ he’s looking forward to a coffee date with this somewhat awkward man. “So… I’ll see you!” He doesn’t wait for a reply, but turns around and starts walking in the direction of his car as fast as possible. He’s scared of how much he likes this man, despite having started out in the worst way possible, despite having a boyfriend… Dean knows that he could fall for this man, too. And he doesn’t know if Jimmy would like that very much.

 

***

 

When he’s home, he immediately starts on dinner. Normally, he’d take his time to organise the groceries just the way he likes it, but now he has to do something more productive and hands on than just organising groceries. Of course he’s put them away, but it’s not as meticulous as usual. It’s actually rather haphazardly done, and Jimmy will know that something’s up when he gets home and sees the cupboards and storage spaces like this, but right now Dean doesn’t care. He just wants to not think about it for a few hours, and maybe when he gets to talk it through with Jimmy he can work it out. Whatever _it_ might be.

 

Dean tries to distract himself from thinking too much by humming Metallica songs but it isn’t enough, so he puts on the music and sings along instead. Singing along helps him relax, and within the first few bars of _Enter Sandman_ Dean is already feeling a lot better. He settles into the rhythm of cutting up vegetables to the beat of the song, and before he knows it, dinner is ready.

 

He decides to leave Metallica on while he’s eating – if it works so well to suppress his thoughts, he can’t really turn it off, now can he? – and when he’s finished, he does the dishes right away. Normally, he’d throw them in the dishwasher but now he just needs something to do with his hands to occupy himself.

 

When he’s finished, he notices that he got a text message, and he quickly swipes the lock screen to see who it’s from. It’s Jimmy, and Dean breathes a huge sigh of relief. He wasn’t ready to deal with Castiel just yet – he needs some more time to process the day.

 

 **[Jimmy <3:] **Hey, on my way home. Food in 15?

 

Dean knows better than to reply – Jimmy is driving after all, and while Dean might text and drive, Jimmy is a hazard on the road without having a phone in his hands, so he just doesn’t bother. Also, Jimmy knows that Dean will make sure that there’s food regardless, so he doesn’t _need_ to reply. Sometimes Dean feels like a housewife, but then he remembers that cooking is something he enjoys (and that it’s Jimmy who always cleans the bathrooms and toilets in the house, so he can’t even really complain about it).

 

Heating up the macaroni he made won’t take that long, so he waits until he hears Jimmy’s car arrive before he heats up the food. He takes a deep breath because Jimmy will want to know how his day went, and Dean will have to tell him about the awkward thing that happened with Castiel. Dean doesn’t really get what has gotten him so stressed, but there’s something, and talking to Jimmy, as much as he doesn’t want to, might help sort out whatever has got his panties in a twist.

 

“Hey baby,” Jimmy chimes when he comes into the kitchen. He pecks Dean on the lips quickly and sniffs the air. “You made macaroni, great. I’ll be down in a sec, just got to clean up a little, okay?”

 

“Of course, sweetheart,” Dean replies. He momentarily forgets all about his distress as he checks Jimmy out. When Jimmy’s directing, he’s often wearing something light and easy like sweatpants, but he seems to have had a client meeting today – Jimmy’s in a full suit, and it turns Dean on like nothing else (or little else, at least). “I’ll plate it up for you as soon as it’s hot.”

 

Sadly, Jimmy leaving the kitchen doesn’t really help Dean relax any further. He really needs to talk to Jimmy and even though the prospect kind of frightens him, he knows that it will be good to get this off his chest. He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t even hear Jimmy re-enter the kitchen and taking a seat opposite of Dean.

 

“Dean?” Jimmy asks carefully, and when Dean blinks back to the present, Jimmy sighs in relief.

 

“Something the matter?” Dean asks, even though he knows something’s the matter with _him_. He’s already deflecting and he has to make a conscious effort to keep himself from flinching away.

 

“I was going to ask you that, but you didn’t even react when I called out to you the first three times. What happened, Dean?” Jimmy’s voice is worried but still gentle and soft, and Dean is already feeling more at ease. He sits down opposite Jimmy at the table, and puts his hands on the table to stop fidgeting with the worn fabric of his jeans at the knee.

 

“I did something stupid and I don’t know what to do now. I also don’t… I just… don’t know what to do.” Dean knows he sounds pathetic but also that Jimmy is there for him.

 

“This doesn’t sound like dinner conversation, Dean,” Jimmy says, shoving his plate aside with a sigh and getting up to sit down next to Dean instead. “Should we move to the couch? Would that make you more comfortable?”

 

“I think so,” Dean whispers. He feels so… bad, so dejected already. How’s he supposed to get through that?

 

“C’mon,” Jimmy says, helping Dean up. Together they move to the living room and settle on the couch. Dean immediately finds the safety of Jimmy’s embrace, and he nestles deeper into it. He wants to burrow his head into the crook of Jimmy’s shoulder but he knows they came here to talk so for now, he won’t do that.

 

“Okay,” Jimmy says, voice determined. “We’re here. Now, what happened? You can start at the beginning, wherever that is.” Dean struggles to decide where that beginning is and his train of through is derailed by Jimmy’s calm voice. “Did it happen before or after I texted you that I was going to be late?”  


“After,” Dean whispers softly. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat. “I was disappointed, I guess. I thought we’d be going out to dinner, and I was really looking forward to that. I had to cancel and everything and it just made me more and more angry.”

 

“I get that,” Jimmy says guiltily. “I tried to be on time but that client meeting didn’t work out the way it should have and then it took me longer than normal to get back to the studio, and they kept fucking up the light and cameras. I was already so tired when I texted you that I didn’t even realise that we were going out for dinner. I had kind of forgotten all about it, and I understand if that hurt you. We’ll go out for dinner later this week, I promise.”

 

Dean sighs. “Thanks. You know we didn’t have any food in the house anymore except those nasty crackers you seem to love so much, and  I wasn’t going to eat those, so I decided to go grocery shopping. I thought I saw you in the supermarket and that made me so angry. I mean, I was already angry at you for being late and it just… escalated, I guess. I thought you were lying to me, and that you had someone on the side because I wasn’t enough… I guess I’ve got some self-worth issues that need to be addressed some day, but that’s not really important right now.” Dean takes another deep breath. “I kept my cool and decided not to confront your look-alike with it. Then I ran into him again in the parking lot, and I kind of yelled at the guy, told him I didn’t want to live with him if he was like that. The guy, Castiel, was completely thrown, of course. He didn’t know what I was talking about. But he looked _so similar_ to you. It was kind of eerie.”

 

“So where exactly is this going?” Jimmy asks. “Did you fuck him in the backseat of the Impala?”

 

“Of course I didn’t,” Dean huffs indignantly.

 

“But you wanted to,” Jimmy concludes, humming thoughtfully.

 

“I don’t know,” Dean sighs. His whole body sags in, demonstrating the defeat he feels. “That’s the whole problem. I mean, I yelled at him and he pretty much forgave me right away but… there was something about him, Jimmy.”

 

“And you are feeling guilty?” Jimmy asks, gently stroking over Dean’s arm to calm him down.

 

“Yes,” Dean whispers. That much is clear. He hasn’t allowed his thoughts to stray yet but he thinks that, given the opportunity, he would be imagining fucking Castiel in the backseat of the Impala. Definitely.

 

“Because you almost cheated on me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good,” Jimmy says neutrally even though he looks kind of hurt, and he sits up straighter. “So you actually want to fuck Castiel. And he looks like me.”

 

Dean glares at Jimmy. “You are so not making twins porn out of this, Jimmy. I’m serious. I’m agreed to meet up with this guy for coffee and I’m just afraid that once I sit down with him, I won’t want to get up again. That I just want to kiss him and leave you, and it _scares_ me.”

 

“I understand, Dean,” Jimmy says, voice soothing. “I am kind of intrigued by the whole idea of a doppelganger. I think I want to meet him too, especially if it turns out you like him.”

 

“I already like him,” Dean groans. “We want to see if we can be friends first before dragging you into this mess.”

 

“So I’ll just have to wait to meet the man who’s got you _feeling butterflies_ again?”

 

“Yeah, I’m afraid so.”

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

##  [[Chapter 9]]

 

The coffee date with Castiel goes pretty well. Dean has a great time, and he knows that he could at least enjoy a solid friendship with the man, if nothing more. When they finally part, two hours later, Dean feels off-balance and doesn’t think that another meeting with Castiel would go over well. He’s already too emotionally invested in the man, and he hasn’t even known him for more than a couple of days.

 

When he gets back home, he rushes over to the couch to collapse in Jimmy’s arms. Jimmy had stayed home because one of his stars was ill and couldn’t be there, and Dean is glad for it now. Of course Jimmy is worried about him – Dean didn’t expect anything else from the caring man – but also quickly calms down at Dean’s words.

 

“Nothing bad happened, Jim,” Dean says, carding fingers through Jimmy’s hair. Dean is glad that Jimmy’s arms are safe around him but wants to provide comfort, too. “I mean, I did kind of break down there, and I think I’m actually falling for him as fast as I fell for you and that might be a slight problem in our case but apart from that… I’m fine.”

 

“You really like him?”

 

“Yes, I do.” Dean sighs. “I think I like him too much, even.”

 

“Is he a threat to me?” Jimmy asks warily, and he tenses in Dean’s arms. He hides his face in Dean’s shoulder and murmurs, “Are you going to break up with me over this?”

 

“No, sweetheart,” Dean says. “I don’t want to break up with you to be with him. I just like him _too_.”

 

 “I don’t want you to leave.” Jimmy sounds on the verge of tears now, and Dean frowns in confusion. Jimmy has never been so emotional over anything before so Dean doesn’t know how to handle his sudden outburst.

 

“I am not going to leave, Jimmy,” Dean murmurs into Jimmy’s hair, and pulls the man closer to him. “It’s going to be okay. I will never leave you, my love.”

 

Jimmy continues crying on Dean’s shoulder, and Dean tries to soothe him to the best of his abilities, but it doesn’t seem to help at all. Dean is starting to feel helpless by the time Jimmy’s sobs finally start to subside.

 

“Do you want me to make you some tea?” Dean asks quietly, and Jimmy nods. He gets up from the couch and quickly makes his way to the kitchen to boil some water. He doesn’t want to be away from Jimmy for too long, scared that he has accidentally hurt his feelings so much that Jimmy’s now thinking about breaking up with him for real.

 

Right now, Dean doesn’t know what else to do but ask what Jimmy _wants_ , and he knows that bringing up a second coffee date with Castiel is going to send his boyfriend crashing down again. He does want to introduce the two of them, but he hadn’t expected this kind of fallout. Before the actual date, Jimmy had seemed okay with it, and had even joked about them being twins. Now, he is the complete opposite, and Dean is confused and worried.

 

As soon as the water is ready he moves to get a mug and a teabag, fills the mug with boiling water, and brings it with him to the living room. Jimmy is relatively okay. He’s sitting upright on the couch, hugging one of the pillows that decorate the couch, but he’s staring blankly ahead.

 

When Dean sits down next to him, Jimmy doesn’t shy away, but he doesn’t move into Dean’s personal space either, and Dean isn’t sure if that’s something positive or negative. He hands Jimmy the tea anyway, and watches when the man removes the bag and tentatively takes a sip, almost burning his lips and tongue on the hot mug. He passes it back to Dean who puts it on the coffee table in front of him and extends his arms, an invitation for Jimmy to move into if he wants the physical comfort. Jimmy shakes his head and settles at the end of the couch. Dean gets the message: he wants to be left alone for a few minutes before he’s really ready to talk about this. Jimmy often needs time after an argument or if he’s thinking hard on something, and Dean knows that the best thing to do at such a moment is to get lost.

 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Dean says with a sad smile, and leaves the room. He knows he’s hurt his boyfriend, and it might be a while before he is okay.

 

He settles in his office and boots up his computer. Normally he would be visiting Jimmy’s porn website – it doesn’t matter how often he has sex, he still craves to see everything the man makes – but now he doesn’t feel _right_. He thinks it might have to do with the fact that Dean has just upset Jimmy but he doesn’t want to _think_ about it. Instead he just starts up Solitaire to play a few rounds. He knows Jimmy will come and talk to him once he’s ready.

 

***

 

It takes Jimmy longer than normal to recognise his hurt feelings for part jealousy and part anxiety. He knows he shouldn’t have pushed Dean away, and that he should have just talked about his feelings, but he wasn’t sure what his feelings were – and that makes talking about them, and pinpointing them, a lot harder. He’s not looking forward to talking to Dean because he saw that he has hurt Dean with his behaviour, but he absolutely _needs_ to clarify this.

 

He takes a deep breath and enters Dean’s office. It used to be his own office, but he tries to leave his work at the studio nowadays to avoid working too late, and he’s glad that Dean has made the space his own. The door is closed, so Jimmy knocks first. He would barge in, but it doesn’t feel right.

 

“Come on in, Jimmy,” Dean calls. His voice is muted through the door and not being able to hear Dean’s tone of voice  means that he has to go in blind. When Jimmy opens the door and enters, he doesn’t want to look up and see Dean’s face just yet. Instead, he looks at the floor and notices how his favourite socks have holes in them. Dean doesn’t say anything so Jimmy keeps staring at his feet until he gets the courage to take a deep breath and start talking. Now he only needs some more courage to actually look Dean in the eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Jimmy whispers. He hopes he’s talking loud enough because he really doesn’t like repeating himself. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I guess I’m very jealous and I didn’t even know that about myself.”

 

He can feel Dean look up at him and just like that his courage to look up returns, and they lock eyes. “I thought you’d react differently because of… you know, how you did before,” Dean confesses, his voice low as well. “You joked around, and you seemed fine overall. I just didn’t realise you were trying not to hurt me. I…” Dean takes a deep breath before continuing. “I want you to meet him, Jimmy, and I think that might help you get over all the shit we’re now apparently fighting about.”

 

“I’m so sorry–”

 

“Please stop apologizing,” Dean interrupts, and he clamps his hand over Jimmy’s mouth. “Just stop. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who went on a coffee date with another dude, not you. I know you’re feeling horrible and we should really talk this through, and decide how to go forward. I’m not going to leave you, but I’m not willing to deal with this by screaming at each other and you apologising every ten seconds or so.”

 

Jimmy simply nods, and Dean drops his hand. “Okay, so let’s try to talk this through like adults,” Jimmy says, leaning slightly into Dean’s space. “Can we move downstairs? I kind of want to be close to you when we talk about this.”

 

Dean nods and gets up, leaving his computer be. Jimmy is kind of curious about how Dean managed to pass his time but he doesn’t ask. There’s more important stuff to talk about. They take their time walking downstairs in silence and settling on the comfortable loveseat. Jimmy immediately clasps Dean’s hand in his own. He doesn’t want to lose that point of contact.

 

“So where do you want to start?” Dean asks after clearing his throat in clear discomfort. Jimmy knows Dean doesn’t like to talk about his feelings, but they need to get past this as soon as possible (and Jimmy might be getting kind of curious about this elusive but clearly attractive Castiel, too).

 

Jimmy takes a deep breath. “I want to start by apologising.” He sees Dean opening his mouth to reply but shuts him down immediately. “For reacting like that. I don’t want to keep on saying it but I could see that I hurt you a lot, and that hurt me. Somehow I… I couldn’t stop talking and feeling bad. I just needed a  minute to sort out my feelings and you were trying to defend yourself. It was painful, but it needed to be done, and I think I might be ready to tell you about how I feel about this whole idea of you maybe dating or falling in love with Castiel.” Jimmy takes another breath and chuckles. “Sorry, I rambled. I needed to get it off my chest, I guess.”

 

Dean rubs his thumb across Jimmy’s palm in reply, and keeps looking down at Jimmy’s hands instead of looking up. It’s freaking Jimmy out. His anxiety is already through the roof so it doesn’t calm him down in the least.

 

“I didn’t think you’d get jealous,” Dean starts, and Jimmy winces. He knows that on most days, he definitely looked like someone who didn’t get jealous at all – but working in the porn business didn’t mean that he couldn’t get jealous when his partner found someone new. It just meant that he knew intimately about the whole matter of jealousy. Dean of course notices, and moves his left hand to gently caress Jimmy’s face. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought that… you pretty much implied you were fine with it… It kind of struck me that you’re just human and that I’ve been so selfish by just _assuming_ that nothing would change and everything was okay. So you know, you can keep on apologising but I need to apologise as well. I’m sorry, Jimmy, for just assuming everything and not talking to you about it.”

 

“Okay,” Jimmy says. “I should have been a lot clearer. I was… I wasn’t sure what to think.” It feels great to admit that, Jimmy thinks. “I mean, I thought you were just kidding, and that you were clearly attracted to him because you thought we looked similar. You know why it hurt so much this time around?” Dean just nods, a small gesture that confirms how bad he feels about the whole situation. “It hurt because you went to get some coffee with him, and when you came back you were _glowing_ , Dean. You looked like you’d met the love of your life. Of course that’s painful.”

 

“I understand,” Dean whispers, cradling Jimmy close to his body. “I definitely do. I’m… I’ve really been an ass about all of this, and I know that you are usually accepting of most shit but I get it if you don’t… if you _can’t_ forgive me for this.” It’s as if he feels that Jimmy is at the verge of bursting out into tears again after his comment – as if he knew that it wasn’t enough to just understand it all – and Jimmy is actually glad for the comfort of Dean’s embrace and his words.

 

“I don’t think you do understand,” Jimmy sighs. “But I’ll take your word on it. I just want to meet him, and then we can talk some more about maybe… you and him being a couple, too. I’m open to polyamory, I just want to know who you are getting down and dirty with.” The chuckle that follows is awkward and Dean winces slightly.

 

“I don’t know if I’m interested in polyamory,” Dean admits quietly, clearly uncomfortable, and that makes Jimmy perk up.

 

“You’re not?”  


“I’m not really familiar with it, but I don’t… I don’t think I can share partners.” Dean sighs. “I mean, obviously I understand that it’s part of your job, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it, and I... some days are better than others, in that respect. I have to accept that about you. I just… I don’t know if _I_ can share a partner.”

 

“I get it,” Jimmy nods. “That was how it worked for me, too. The porn business did change me in that respect, but not just because of my partners in porn. It was also because sometimes I just needed to have a different outlet.” Dean notices Jimmy perk up at the subject and smiles. Even though Dean’s being an ass, Jimmy can still be enthused. “Some of my partners absolutely refused to play with me. They just didn’t want to get involved in the BDSM scene, which I can understand, of course, but… they did allow me to find someone to play with. Sometimes I fell in love with my partner _and_ with my play partner. It was fucked up at times, but it was good to have someone to come home to.”

 

“So… you’re open to me being with Cas, then?” Dean asks, more curious than serious as far as Jimmy can judge.

 

“I’ll have to meet the man first,” Jimmy answers. “I can’t really say if I’m okay with it if I don’t know him. I want him to be good for you. I want to be sure that you’re not going to come crawling back to me because you don’t feel at ease with him. I want _us_ to be in a stable relationship, and I want to be at least friends with the man, too. But we need to fix whatever’s fucked in our relationship, too, Dean.”

 

“I know,” Dean sighs. He sounds miserable, and Jimmy takes Dean’s hand, still clasped in his own, to his lips to press a soft kiss to the man’s knuckles.

 

“It’s nothing bad,” Jimmy reassures, and then he smiles. “We just… we need to talk more about what we want. You didn’t know I’d be interested in polyamory, and I don’t know if I’ve ever told you about my ventures into BDSM. You haven’t ever told me about anything you like in the bedroom apart from the panties, and you even told me that on accident.” Jimmy laughs at the blush creeping up Dean’s face. “You know that communication is key to a healthy relationship.” Jimmy knows he sounds like a textbook but that doesn’t stop him. “So we just need to communicate more clearly about what we want and how we want it, and it might help us develop in the bedroom, as well.”

 

“Are you…” Dean takes a deep breath and seems to mentally debate with himself for a few seconds. “Do you… sometimes think I’m not…” Once again he seems to be searching for words and Jimmy has an idea what Dean wants to say, but he doesn’t want to assume this time. He needs Dean to vocalise his ideas. Dean takes another few seconds and then sighs. “Do you ever… get bored of me in the bedroom?” he finally asks, blushing furiously.

 

“No, Dean,” Jimmy says softly, kissing Dean’s cheek. “I will never bore of you in the bedroom. You are exactly what I need, and that’s more than I could ever ask for. I don’t ever want you to do stuff you’re uncomfortable with. I think that you know that, too.”

 

Dean nods, and sags in Jimmy’s shoulder. Then he chuckles. “I think I’m ready for bed even though it’s only seven,” Dean says.

 

“Me too,” Jimmy agrees. “This talk was emotionally exhausted and I don’t even know if we’ve covered everything we needed to talk through. But I’m beat with it, and I just want to curl up with you in our bed.”

 

“Couldn’t agree with you more,” Dean says, kissing Jimmy on his forehead. “Let’s go then. We can talk again tomorrow.”

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

##  [[Chapter 10]]

 

The next day everything between them feels unsettled. Dean is off to work earlier than he’s ever gone in, but he needs to get away from home for a few hours, and he hopes everything will have settled by the time he gets home again. He knows Jimmy isn’t mad at him but he needs to think about all the shit that went down and right now, he’s feeling as if he’s reeling after a blow to his head. Of course they had shared a bed last night but the cuddles hadn’t felt as comfortable and safe as they usually were.

 

Dean gets out of the Impala with a sigh and mentally prepares himself to be cooped up in his office for the day. As much as he wants to work on the cars in his shop, he knows that he won’t be able to work on them with as much concentration as those beauties deserve. On top of that, he doesn’t want to be bothered by everyone walking in and out of the bays trying to find out what’s gotten his panties in a twist. He takes a deep breath and stalks towards the doors of his office only to be stopped in his tracks by Jo when she emerges from the front desk. She looks like she’s been sleeping there – hair all mussed up and clothes wrinkled – but Dean knows better than to ask.

 

“You look like hammered crap,” Jo says without preamble, and Dean flinches. He didn’t think she’d comment on how he looks – and yes, he knows he looks awful.

 

“Thanks,” he says, and makes for the doors to his office again, but Jo stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I was serious,” she says. “You really look like you’ve gone 66 rounds with the devil. You’ve got to tell me at some point, so why not now? Everyone else will be in in about fifteen minutes, so you have some time.”

 

Dean swallows and shakes his head. “I will, but I just need some time. Can you get everyone to leave me alone today? I would be manning the front desk if I wanted to be left alone but I don’t feel like I can handle any customers today.”

 

“Did you at least talk to Charlie about whatever’s bothering you?” Jo sounds concerned, and Dean knows that it’s because she knows about how he slipped into a depression some time back. Even though he has been feeling better because of how well everything was going, right now he feels like he could slip back into it right away.

 

“No,” Dean sighs. “I don’t want to call her yet. She’ll worry, and that’s definitely not what I need right now. It’s… it’s just something small, and it’ll probably be settled tonight.”

 

“Trouble in paradise?”

 

“Something like that.” Dean sighs again and leans against the doors leading to his office. “Jo, really. Can we not talk about this? I’m only here because I need to get some stuff done today.” He drags a hand across his face in frustration. “I should have stayed home but I couldn’t. I… I need some me-time. So please, please don’t bother me.”

 

“Okay princess, I’ll try,” Jo says, patting Dean on the shoulder. “I _will_ force you to eat lunch with me, but we can do that in your office too. If you want to.” She looks at Dean, and Dean wants to start objecting, but she’s quicker. “The lunch thing is not optional, Winchester. Just the location, if you’re feeling up to it.”

 

“Okay.” Dean knows he can’t back down on Jo, so he simply agrees. “I’ll see you around lunch, then.”

 

With that, he finally gets to shut himself in the office, and he lowers himself into his desk chair with a slight smile on his face. He wasn’t lying when he told Jo that he has work to do today, it’s just that he is not looking forward to it. The restoration shop has grown exponentially in the past few months, and he’s been stuck behind his desk more and more ever since. He reckons it’s about time to hire someone to help him do all the paperwork. He doesn’t need a secretary, just… an accountant, or someone who enjoys doing math for a living. He also needs to hire someone to work on the cars, since the waiting list is now officially too long (he thought he’d never get to fifty people waiting for a car restoration but apparently that’s his life now). So he sets himself to the task of going through emails from those who applied for the two positions, and it takes him until lunch to single out a few people who might be able to help him _and_ have the right set of skills.

 

He’s in the middle of reading Kevin Tran’s application letter when Jo knocks on his door. Dean lowers the printed copy of the boy’s letter and yells “Come in” at the door, knowing Jo will get it.

 

She enters quickly and shuts the door behind her, holding a sandwich in her hands triumphantly. “I brought you lunch and you won’t even have to do a thing for it. You’re welcome.” She sees that Dean’s still working and settles at his desk. “Working on anything important or can it wait until after lunch?”

 

Dean finally looks up and puts the papers down on his desk, making space to put his paper plate. “It can wait. I wanted to ask for your input anyway, so we can do that now, and have lunch at the same time.”

 

He gratefully accepts the sandwich, and tears off the paper around it. It looks pretty good, but it can’t fully distract him from his busy thoughts. Jo’s already working her way through her own sandwich when he finally starts, and after his first bite, he nods approvingly.

 

“You got me a good one,” he says, and Jo just smiles.

 

“Of course I did,” she says. “You were down, and you’ve been locked up in here doing a lot of work since you came in. I thought you needed a treat.”

 

“Thanks Jo.”

 

“You’re welcome.” She seems to realise that Dean is being more quiet than he should be with a sandwich in his hands, and continues more business-like. “So, what did you want to talk to me about? Don’t tell me you have to fire people. I thought we were doing well?”

 

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Dean warns, but then he smiles. “You know, we’re doing great. You see what comes in and goes out each day, so that’s definitely not it.” He bites his lip and thinks on how to proceed. “We’ve been doing _too_ well, even. I can’t handle doing both the paperwork and work in the bays, and you’re also working both front desk and cars. You don’t have to decide right away, but if you want to, you can start doing fulltime restoration work. If you want to,” Dean emphasised. “I need to stop relying on Sam and hire someone to help me with all the paperwork and the financial and legal stuff, and with the length of the wait list we also need someone new to work on the cars.” Dean cards a hand through his hair and sighs. “So could you take a look at these resumes and schedule the people you like best for an interview?”

 

He slides four files over to Jo, who looks through them quickly but surely. “Who were you considering for what position?” she asks, and then she looks up with a crease in her brow. “And why do you want my take on this? It’s your business, and you never involve me much. You always talk to Jimmy about the important decisions.”

 

Dean fidgets and looks down at his hands. Then he sighs. “You were right. I was in a foul mood this morning. Me and Jimmy… We kind of fought yesterday, and I’ve been feeling off all morning.” Dean wrings his hands and looks up at Jo with desperation in his eyes. “It’s not really something I can discuss with you, but… I feel awful. So far this has been the only thing to successfully take my mind off him, and it needs to be done anyway. I’ll talk to him tonight, I promise,” Dean says when he sees Jo’s dark look and knows she’s on the cusp of a lecture. “I just want to get this over with.”

 

“Okay,” Jo says softly. “So… I’m assuming you wanted Kevin and Samandriel for paperwork or front desk manning, and Benny and Victor for car work?”

 

Dean nods, appreciating Jo dropping the other subject he really doesn’t want to talk about. “Yup. I think they all are a good fit. I’m not completely sold on Victor but he seems like a nice enough guy and he has the right credentials. I’m kind of worried because he’s from one of Crowley’s joints, and while that doesn’t mean he can’t work on my cars, it’s… weird that Crowley has dropped someone who has been working on his cars for the past twenty years.”

 

Jo hums in agreement. “It _is_ weird. I would not consider Samandriel for paperwork, though. His skills look promising but I’m worried about his experience, or rather the lack of it. I don’t think he’s cut out for the job.”

 

“That’s why I asked you to look them over.” Dean glances at Samandriel’s resume again, and points at one of the previous jobs. “You’re totally right. Working at a burger joint doesn’t mean he can handle paperwork and finances. Also, Kevin has a lot more experience in that area, as you probably already saw.”

 

“You kind of implied you were also looking for someone to man the front desk?” Jo asks, leaning forward. She’s visibly gearing up for a longer speech. “I mean, you just offered me full-time car work and glossed right over the fact that someone else has to run front desk. Personally, I think it would be best to split. I can still do two or three days front desk work, and work on cars the other day. You could get Samandriel, which is a terrible name by the way, to do front desk the other days. It fits him better. Kevin would be amazing at the paperwork stuff, and he’s probably a quick student judging by all those degrees and honorary mentions.” Jo points at the four honorary mentions on Kevin’s resume. “You can have him slowly take over while still doing stuff like payroll and overseeing him. Eventually you’ll be back to working on the cars and only spending one day in the office. I’m all for Benny. I wouldn’t go for Victor at all – I think you should check out his record but I wouldn’t want him in here.” She takes a deep breath and looks at Dean in anticipation.

 

Dean is thinking about what Jo just said, and finds himself nodding along. “I think it’s about time I promote you, Jo,” he says with a smile on his face. “You hit the nail right in the head, and I think you should be more involved. So, can you call them and schedule interviews somewhere during the next week? If it all goes well, I’ll probably keep it all like you just proposed.” He suddenly realises something else. “And you should probably help me with the schedule for the upcoming week. You are amazing at this kind of stuff, it seems.”

 

Jo beams and leans over to kiss Dean on his cheek. “Thanks, Dean. So, when am I getting that raise?”

 

Dean outright laughs at that. “You’ll be getting it soon. Sam just needs to look over your new contract, and then it’ll be all set.”

 

“Wait, you really did that?”

 

“Yup. I wouldn’t joke about that, Jo. No matter what, raises are something I really think about.”

 

“So you gave me one?”

 

“Yeah. You’ve been there for me a lot.” Dean sighs, and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “I mean, not just for me personally, but also for the business. You never complain, you’re never ill, and you always try to get everything done as soon as possible. You’re one of the best employees I have, and you’ve been here since the very beginning. So yeah. You definitely deserve a raise.”

 

Jo hugs him tight but remains silent, and when the touchy-feely moment is over, Dean resettles in his chair.

 

“So we’re done here, right?” Jo asks, and Dean nods.

 

“I might be heading out early today,” he says. “Now that this thing is sorted and I had some time to think about this… thing with Jimmy, there’s something I need to do. I’ll still be in my office for a little while, and I’ll let you know once I’m going home, but please keep up the quiet. I’ll be on the phone a lot, and I’d prefer if no one waltzed in while I’m calling.”

 

“Sure thing, bossman,” Jo says. She gathers up the files with the contact information for the three chosen applicants, and then she leaves the office quickly, sensing that Dean doesn’t want to be disturbed anymore.

 

Dean settles again and takes a deep breath. He needs to do a lot, and he needs to get it done fairly quickly. He’s slightly afraid it won’t work out, but first, he needs to call Jimmy to get some stuff out of the way.

 

***

 

When Dean is finally done and ready to go home, his work phone rings. Dean panics as soon as he sees it’s Jimmy calling him.

 

“Jimmy?” Dean asks once he’s picked up. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m nervous,” Jimmy says. “I’m so nervous I just threw up. Are you sure this is going to work?”

 

“I’m sure it will,” Dean answers, voice soothing. “If you don’t feel up to it, I can still cancel…?”

 

“Nah,” Jimmy says, but Dean can hear him swallow nervously on the other side of the phone. “No, I just want to get this over with.”

 

“Okay, well, try to relax.” Dean smiles at the phone. “I’ll be home in about half an hour, okay? How about you get started on dinner, that always calms me down?”

 

Jimmy exhales loudly into the receiver and Dean chuckles at that. “I’ll do that,” Jimmy says. “I’m just–”

 

“Yeah, you’re just nervous. Well, I am nervous too, but we’ll be fine, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

 

“Okay, love you,” Jimmy whispers.

 

“I love you too. See ya.” With a sigh, Dean ends the call. He knew that Jimmy would be nervous but he hadn’t expected the man to actually throw up over this. He only feels more worried, but he needs to get going right now or else he misses his first appointment. He waves at Jo as he leaves, and drives out of the parking lot in the Impala, already looking forward to the night.

 

***

 

Jimmy gets progressively more nervous the closer it gets to Dean coming home. He knows that it’ll probably turn out fine, but he’s still slightly not all there from their fight the day before. They might have talked on the phone a lot today, but it still doesn’t change the feeling Jimmy has. Dean seems to feel a lot better already, but Jimmy is feeling fragile still. However, he couldn’t deny that Dean’s plan was awesome.

 

The dinner Dean had planned was easy enough, and it doesn’t take Jimmy long to prepare the tomato soup with Dean’s homemade bread. Even though it’s simple, it’s nice and when he’s finished, Jimmy is actively looking forward to dinner. For the first time in a while he actually sets the table – plates, silverware, fancy glasses, the whole shebang – and the order of it all calm him down. Finally having gotten a grip on his nerves, feeling that he’s done enough in preparation of Dean’s arrival, he settles on the couch with the thriller he’s currently reading. He’s enjoying the graphic descriptions of violence when he hears the Impala pull up the driveway, and immediately the nerves are all over him again. He takes a deep breath and opens the door…

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

##  [[Chapter 11]]

 

And then Jimmy sees him for the first time. Dean had been right all along, and he immediately feels the need to kiss Dean senseless. He’d been… so stupid, and Dean had been _so right_ all along – it hurts him physically to realise it.

 

“You must be Castiel,” Jimmy finally manages. He knows the man in front of him is just as speechless because his lips are parted and he just… Jimmy just _knows_ that it’s an exact mirror of the look he has on his own face.

 

“In the likely case someone did not in fact clone me, that would make you Jimmy.” It takes Castiel some time to finally articulate this. Jimmy looks over Dean’s shoulder only to see that the man is still busy with the Impala, and Castiel holds out his arms for Jimmy in an invitation for a hug.

 

“Dean was right. You look… exactly like me.” Jimmy is too stunned to do anything else but fall into Castiel’s arms. It already feels like home, and however weird it might be, Jimmy is already absolutely certain that the two of them are related somehow. “Come on in. Dinner is ready.”

 

Castiel follows Jimmy inside and Jimmy’s stomach does a weird flip in excitement when the man automatically takes off his shoes at the door. It had taken Dean a few weeks to get settled into the no shoes in the house policy, but it seems like second nature for Castiel. They settle at the kitchen table, and Dean barges in before they can start on any kind of small talk.

 

“Is it weird? Did I make it weird? I just made it weird, didn’t I?” he asks, a panicked layer in his voice, and both Jimmy and Castiel chuckle at that. They look at each other and break out into matching grins.

 

“It isn’t weird.” Dean visibly relaxes at that. “Yet,” Jimmy teases and kisses Dean’s cheek. “Are we ready to dig in?”

 

Both Castiel and Dean nod and Jimmy goes to fetch the pan of soup and the bread, which is still warm. The evening has just started but it is already progressing better than Jimmy expected and he finally relaxes.

 

***

 

After dinner the three of them settle on the couch. Jimmy feels bad when he claims the middle spot on the couch, and forces Castiel and Dean to sit on his sides instead of next to each other. He’s not over feeling jealous, even though he finally gets why Dean was immediately attracted to Castiel. Jimmy is already developing a crush on the man and it’s slightly problematic if Castiel turns out to be his brother.

 

While they are enjoying a glass of wine Dean starts talking about his family and how he’s only ever kept in contact with Sam after both his parents died. “I mean, apparently I have nieces and nephews and cousins and a grandfather who’s still alive but hell if they ever tried to get involved with our dysfunctional family,” Dean says, his voice miserable and bitter. “It was pretty painful when Sam and I found out about grandpa Samuel. Damn, I hadn’t been that angry in quite a long time, actually. We never confronted them, though. It felt wrong to just burden them with family they apparently didn’t know existed.”

 

“I wouldn’t know,” Castiel says with a shrug. “I was adopted. I never saw the point in finding people who didn’t want me, since my adoptive parents were great. Anna and Michael took great care of me and I never thought they weren’t my parents until they told me I was adopted when I turned eighteen. I mean, we didn’t exactly look the same, but we looked similar enough that I never questioned it.”

 

“I don’t know, either,” Jimmy says softly. “You asked me about my parents a few weeks back, Dean, and I didn’t know how to answer that. I didn’t really have any stable adoptive parents. It was horrible.” He takes a deep breath and continues after moving closer to the comfort of Dean’s arms. “My parents died when I was young, and the first couple who adopted me died in a car crash when I was eight. At least it made me realise that I must have been adopted before. Never looked for my birth parents either.”

 

“So you know very little, too?” Castiel asks with a slight frown on his face. “I had hoped you were more familiar with your origins…”

 

“You two definitely look alike…” Dean weighs in and trails off suggestively. “You could be twins.”

 

“I know,” Castiel says enthusiastically. “That’s kind of my point. I was hoping Jimmy knew something about his birth parents, and that we could look into it and maybe find out if we’re actually related.”  


“That would be awkward,” Jimmy mutters, and because he’s in the middle and his luck is shit, of course both Dean and Castiel overhear him.

 

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks, confused, while Dean flushes bright red on his left side.

 

Jimmy takes a deep breath and looks at Dean. Dean is not looking back, but he’s fidgeting with his ring, and that tells Jimmy enough – Dean is not going to speak up about this. So Jimmy will have to do it himself. “Dean likes you, and we spoke about polyamory the other night. We were… both interested in pursuing that, and even though it had me confused and jealous last night, now I get where he’s coming from. Dean wouldn’t mind dating you and me both, but I think that… you being my brother might complicate that.”

 

“Oh.” Castiel looks disappointed while Dean is still silent and furiously blushing. “So… you wouldn’t object to me and Dean being a… a couple if we weren’t brothers?”

 

“I…” Jimmy is stammering already and now, he’s the one who’s starting to change colour. “I’d be jealous but…  I think it would work out after a while. I needed to make sure you were good for Dean, and… yeah.” Jimmy knows he’s babbling and he doesn’t want to explain the jealousy – both Dean and Castiel will probably assume that he’d be jealous because he’d have to share Dean, not because he is already crushing hard on a man who could be his brother. The possibility of him falling in love with Castiel is very real and it _scares_ him.

 

“Good,” Castiel says with a smile on his face. “But we don’t know for sure that we’re brothers, and I’m not particularly keen to find out, actually.”

 

To Jimmy, the rest of the evening feels awkward and off, but it’s nice to have met Castiel who might be Dean’s second partner. The jealousy doesn’t set in immediately, but after a few glasses of wine, Jimmy feels ready to just fuck Castiel over the table while Dean takes him, and that’s when Jimmy knows he’s had enough.

 

“Castiel, are you going to be staying over tonight?” he asks politely. Dean has stayed relatively sober – he’s only had one glass of wine and has been drinking soda ever since he finished it – so he will be sober enough to drive if Castiel decides that he wants to go home.

 

“I’d like that,” Castiel says, giggling. Jimmy knows the both of them have had too much to drink. “I think I’ve had so much to drink that I probably can’t climb the stairs to my apartment without falling on my ass.”

 

“Then Dean can show you the guest bedroom when you’re feeling up to it. I’m tired, so I’m going to go to bed already.” Jimmy doesn’t know if leaving Dean and Castiel alone is such a good idea, but since the whole evening has gone pretty well (and it had all been Dean’s idea), he knows he can trust his boyfriend with this.

 

“Goodnight, Jimmy,” Castiel says with a smile on his face. “I’ll make you guys breakfast as a thank you,” he adds with a wink.

 

Jimmy groans. “Then you’ll have to be up early. I’ll probably make my own since I need to be at work around 9 so I won’t be able to sleep in very late. Or you could have a big breakfast with Dean. He doesn’t have to be up that early.”

 

“Or we could just all get up early,” Dean chimes in. He leans forward to kiss Jimmy, and whispers, “I’ll be in soon, too, sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

 

“Whatever,” Jimmy grumbles. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see who’s up early tomorrow with me, and I’ll make breakfast for everyone who’s downstairs before eight.” With that, and a final kiss for Dean, he goes upstairs to finish his nightly rituals.

 

He really _is_ tired, but he’s also feeling off-balance because of his attraction to Castiel. It feels very egotistical to crush on someone who looks incredibly similar to himself. Jimmy knows they aren’t carbon copies of each other – their voices aren’t similar (Castiel’s voice is much lower), and their hair differs as well (Castiel’s doesn’t look as tameable as Jimmy’s) – but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t still the threat of them being _twins_. Incest isn’t something he’s keen on, regardless of his stance on twins in porn. He knows they often aren’t related at all, just looking similar enough to _pass_ for twins when the camera work is a bit rough, but he can’t… he can’t put it aside. He’ll have to talk to Dean about it all – if Dean returns to their bed tonight. He wouldn’t even be surprised if Dean sleeps with Castiel tonight. It would fuel his jealousy but he can never deny his lover anything, apparently. With those thoughts still in his mind, Jimmy falls into a dreamless sleep.

 

***

 

The morning after, breakfast is not as awkward as Jimmy had expected. Both Dean and Castiel are already downstairs when he gets out of the shower, and everyone is quiet, but there’s a certain level of comfort hanging around them. It relaxes Jimmy as he fixes up some eggs, bacon and toast for Dean and Castiel. They both look well-rested, and Jimmy is glad for that.

 

They eat their breakfast in silence, too, and before long, Jimmy has to go. Dean can afford to come in late, and Castiel… Jimmy doesn’t even know what the man does for work. Right now, he doesn’t have time to ask, just to press a quick kiss to Dean’s forehead and wave goodbye to Castiel. He’ll text Dean as soon as he’s in his studio as there’s some stuff they need to talk about without Castiel but for now, everything is good.

 

***

 

The day passes without much trouble, and when Jimmy returns home, he returns to the lovely smell of Dean’s homemade lasagne. It’s not something they have very often, because Dean insists on making everything from scratch, including pasta, so it means that either Dean has come home early to start on an amazing dinner, or Jimmy is late again. Since the incident with Castiel, however, he has limited his overtime in the studio, and he has started to cut down the porn stars’ hours as well to make sure everyone can get back to their families in time for dinner. It makes for more relaxed work, as everyone is now excited to go home on time, and it has surely made Dean less angry at Jimmy, as well.

 

“Hi sweetheart,” Jimmy hears as soon as he actually enters the house. Dean comes bouncing out of the kitchen, clad in his ‘ _Kiss the Cook_ ’ apron, and Jimmy feels compelled to do just that.

 

“Hi darling,” Jimmy replies, and pulls Dean in for a kiss. “What’s the occasion?”

 

Dean flushes adorably and Jimmy knows it’s something Dean thinks is big (but in reality is something small). “I… I uh…” the man stammers and it takes Jimmy some effort to keep from laughing.

 

“Take your time, Dean,” Jimmy says as he walks Dean into the kitchen and starts pulling plates and silverware from the cupboards. “I’m here all night.”

 

“Yes, but I don’t want to take that long to tell you,” Dean says, voice small. He goes back to the oven to check on the lasagne and the garlic bread, and that seems to fill him with determination somehow. “It’s about Castiel.”

 

“I kind of expected that,” Jimmy says, voice carefully neutral. He doesn’t know what to expect but that doesn’t mean that he can’t guess. Worst case scenario: Dean breaks up with him for Castiel – but then it’d be weird that he was making lasagne, Jimmy’s favourite. Jimmy is already cautiously optimistic about his chances of staying with Dean, even though the man had explicitly said that he wanted to stay with Jimmy a few days before. It doesn’t matter to Jimmy’s stupid brain – it still needs to make sure that Dean wasn’t lying or changed his mind in the meantime.

 

“Yup. And I thought about it all,” Dean waves around vaguely when he says ‘it all’, and seems relieved when the timer for the oven goes off. He takes out the lasagne and puts it on the table before continuing. “I… I think I’ve already fallen in love with Castiel. It feels strange, because I love you so much, but I want him in my life as well. I mean, I almost kissed him yesterday, when you left for bed. I could barely stop myself, and all I thought about was that you would be so disappointed because you wanted to _know_ if and when Cas and me hook up. I just… you mentioned you’d be jealous yesterday, but the way you looked at Cas… it kind of seemed that you’d be jealous of _me_ , not of _Cas_ for taking my love…” Dean looks up from cutting the lasagne. “Am I wrong?”

 

“No,” Jimmy whispers. “I… I didn’t know… I mean, I didn’t think you’d notice. I… I’ve been… It feels so strange, Dean. I’m attracted to someone who _looks exactly like me_.” Jimmy feels on the verge of crying and it’s happened so often lately that he’s starting to find it strangely comforting. “I don’t know what to do, Dean.”

 

“We should talk to Castiel about this,” Dean says. “If you’re already crushing on him, then it must be something strong. It took you a while before you were warmed up to me, so Castiel being an instant hit…” He puts a generous serving on Jimmy’s plate and adds a few slices of the garlic bread. “Look, Jim, I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t care that you might be brothers. I get that it might freak you out, but I think you will be okay. To me, it’s not that much of an issue – you could just be good friends who look alike, and who also really like each other. It’s all about how you feel about each other, I think.” Dean takes Jimmy’s hand in his. “If you really think that he’s your brother and that you cannot get past that, I understand. I would never be able to do something like this to Sam, but you might… you might think about this differently because you haven’t known Castiel for that long. At this point, I think your opinion really weighs in a lot.” He smooths his thumb over Jimmy’s hand to soothe the other man. “It would be the perfect opportunity for a working love triangle and a lot of awesome threesomes in the future.” Dean shrugs. “We just need to talk to Castiel about how he feels about you. I’m thinking he’ll be happy to have us both.”

 

“How do you figure?” Jimmy manages to ask while still looking dumbstruck. He didn’t think that Dean would have that much faith in all three of them clicking just like that, but apparently the man had thought about it quite a lot.

 

“Castiel was looking at you exactly like you were looking at him.” Dean laughs. “If you weren’t so drunk and scared, the two of you would’ve probably jumped each other’s bones right in front of me without a second thought.”

 

“I actually thought about it,” Jimmy confesses quietly. “Just before I left the living room, I thought ‘What if I just bend Castiel over the coffee table and fuck him _right here, right_ _now_?’ I wanted you to fuck me while I was fucking him, by the way. I don’t even know where that came from.”

 

“Your imagination, I assume,” Dean says, grinning widely. “Oh man, I just want the two of you to fuck me at the same time. I’ve never wanted anything so bad before.”

 

“So are we going to invite him over again to talk about this?” Jimmy asks. Now that Dean knows, he feels like he’s vibrating on the spot. He _wants_ Castiel like he hasn’t wanted anyone in years beside Dean. It’s like it’s Christmas Eve and he’s getting psyched up for possible presents. Oh man.

 

Dean picks up on his enthusiasm and leans over the table to kiss Jimmy. “Yes. Tonight?”

 

“Why not,” Jimmy says, laughing out loud. “We really are the worst, aren’t we?”

 

“We are,” Dean agrees. “But in the best possible way.”

 

With that, they finish dinner and while Jimmy starts on the dishes, Dean calls Castiel.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

##  [[Chapter 12]]

 

Castiel arrives about half an hour after Dean called him, and to the surprise of both Dean and Jimmy. They didn’t expect him to arrive that he’s so fast but it gave them hope that Cas was eager to spend more time (and maybe more) too.

 

“You called?” Castiel asks, tone impatient but slightly teasing, as soon as his shoes are off. He doesn’t even make it into the living room before asking. Dean and Jimmy try to temper their own enthusiasm and manage to hold off on answering until they’re seated on the couch in the living room. Their couch has become the Talking Couch, and while Dean was never one to share his emotions, it has greatly improved since the first time he sat down on it and Jimmy forced him to talk about his feelings.

 

They settle once more like they had the night before: Jimmy in the middle, Dean on his left, and Castiel on his right. Jimmy turns towards Castiel and takes Dean’s hand in his own. He’s preparing to start The Talk, and Dean is only now getting nervous.

 

“You know Dean and I are in a committed relationship,” Jimmy starts. He figures that the best way forward is getting straight to the point. “We talked about me sharing him with you, and we… we agreed that it should be possible. I just…” Jimmy takes a deep breath and steels himself. This is one of the harder bits. “Last night, I realised that I was jealous. Not because I’d have to share _Dean_ , that would not be… that isn’t too bad. Really. It’s just… I just want Dean to share _you_ too.” Jimmy isn’t yet ready to share that he is _insanely_ jealous of Dean.

 

Dean knows that Jimmy is a firm believer in ripping the band-aid off quickly, but this might have been too much too soon for Castiel, who’s sitting there gaping at Dean and Jimmy. Dean shifts around and goes to sit on the floor in front of Castiel.

 

Dean takes over, voice gently. “What Jimmy is trying to say is… We talked about the possibility of you and me yesterday, but when Jimmy and me were talking earlier, we found out that it’s not just me who wants to be involved with you. Jimmy is also interested.”

 

Castiel is still speechless. “The family ties?” he manages.

 

“That’s why I was so confused at first,” Jimmy confesses, eyes cast downward. “I mean, imagine falling in love with your long lost brother. It’s kind of awkward. I don’t want to know if we are family because I want to be your family in a very different way. Having you as both my brother and my lover would confuse everyone, including me.”

 

“O… kay?” Castiel manages, and Dean and Jimmy turn to find Castiel’s expression unnervingly blank.

 

“Maybe we should have done this differently,” Dean says, concerned. “I think we broke him.”

 

“That’s what it looks like,” Jimmy confirms quietly. Jimmy knows that Dean is genuinely concerned, but Jimmy is also worried about how Castiel is dealing with this information. Maybe they didn’t introduce it quite right. “Cas?”

 

“I’m… processing,” Castiel says. “It’s hard. I… I don’t know if I feel the same about you, Jimmy. It’s… difficult to explain. You feel like a brother, not a lover. I might have been looking at it from the wrong angle all along. I mean, you are attractive, but… I went into this meeting yesterday knowing that you were almost identical, and I… I’ve always had this feeling that I had a brother somewhere? It’s hard to explain and… I don’t know.” Castiel looks at the both of them with desperation in his eyes. “I think I want you both but… but what if I change my mind? And I suddenly only want one of you? Wouldn’t that be hard?”

 

“It could happen,” Dean says with a shrug. “People fall out of love, of course. It might be painful, but isn’t every breakup?”

 

Jimmy nods. “I agree with Dean. We have to be honest and… we need more transparency. I don’t think being friends would be a problem if we break up for well-explained reasons. Clear communication always helps me.”

 

“Okay, I understand your point, but there’s still the matter of us possibly being related,” Castiel says.

 

“We can be both brothers and lovers,” Jimmy answers honestly. “I don’t think being brothers would change what I feel for you, and if it does…” Jimmy swallows heavily, unwilling to think about even the possibility. “Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I don’t see too many too many downsides here.”

 

“There’s logistics to this I’m sure we’ll find out as we go along,” Dean says. “There will probably lots of questions and raised eyebrows, and we’ll have to explain a lot, but we’ll manage.”

 

“Okay,” Castiel breathes. “I see.”

 

“So…” Jimmy says, trailing off suggestively. He doesn’t want to hope too much but he does think that Castiel is feeling open to the idea.

 

“So… what?” Castiel says. “We’re a couple now? Or a triangle? How do we call us?”

 

“A relationship, if we have to name it,” Jimmy says, smile starting to break out on his face. He kisses Dean tenderly, conveying his love for the man in the simple gesture, and then moves in to kiss Castiel as well, but he stops just short of Castiel’s lips. Jimmy doesn’t want to scare him away and he knows he’s toeing the line because they only just told Castiel that they are both interested in him.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Jimmy murmurs into Castiel’s cheek, and Castiel’s nod is only barely perceptible but Jimmy knows it’s there. He moves in and presses his lips to Castiel’s dry, chapped ones. The kiss isn’t long or messy but it’s gentle and tender and Jimmy feels Castiel relax into it. Dean quickly takes his place to kiss Castiel as well, and both men look slightly dazed once they break away from each other. It’s clear that there’s something more between Dean and Castiel, but right now, Jimmy can’t find it in himself to care, since they are now together and Jimmy knows that he would look exactly the same. Dean presses a quick kiss to Jimmy’s temple and mutters something about getting something to drink.

 

Jimmy grins at Castiel and kisses Castiel’s cheek. “Man, Dean is already feeling overwhelmed. You did great. I didn’t expect to see the day _that man_ was overwhelmed by something.”

 

“Thanks?” Castiel says, and they manoeuvre back onto the couch. Dean had pulled Castiel down during their kiss (or well, slight make-out session) and the couch is so much more comfortable to sit on for prolonged stretches of time.

 

“You’re welcome. It was a compliment.” Jimmy wraps his arms around Castiel, wondering why it already feels like coming home, as they settle on the couch. “Dean will probably be getting something for us as well, so we can just relax and hang back. I think.”

 

Dean does get something for them, and it turns out to be multiple bottles of wine and their ridiculously large wine glasses. Castiel outright laughs and asks if they want him drunk, at which Dean chuckles nervously.

 

“I might want to get you drunk? Just so you have to stay over again. I liked it last time.” Dean’s confession is quiet but Jimmy understands his unease. They are all still overwhelmed by the sudden change, and none of them know how the others will react to the change in relationship.

 

“As long as you get completely smashed, too,” Castiel says with a smile on his face. “I don’t want you to be able to get me home tonight. Same for you, Jimmy. Let’s all get drunk enough to be unable to make it to your bed.”

 

“I prefer to get there right now and then get drunk.” Jimmy can’t resist to tease back, even though it’s more like inviting Castiel into his and Dean’s bed, and Castiel laughs.

 

“Oh god, you’re a dirty, dirty man, Jimmy.”

 

“You should see him on set,” Dean says chuckling. “Oh man, that was the best day of my life. I’ve never seen him on the prowl like that before.”

 

“On set?” Castiel asks, clearly interested. “What do you do, Jimmy?”

 

“Oops,” Dean says, maybe a little too loud. Dean and Jimmy haven’t discussed Jimmy’s work and what they’d share with Castiel yet, but Dean knows that Castiel should know but this is not how Jimmy wants to tell Cas. Right now, Dean suspects that Castiel is the one who models panties, but since he hasn’t confirmed that just yet, he couldn’t assume.

 

Castiel is looking curiously between the two men and Jimmy sighs.

 

“This was unavoidable and I wish I could tell you in a different setting. You know, when we are not about to get drunk and just settled into this relationship.” Jimmy sighs again, knowing that it’s a bullshit reason, but it is something he needs to take into consideration before even starting to trust someone enough. “I didn’t hide it from Dean, but he already knew when he met me, and… I guess that some people don’t take to it well. Not that I’m doubting you, of course,” Jimmy adds quickly. He feels like he’s just babbling on and not getting to the point at all. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to continue. “A lot depends on your reaction, so… yeah. I own a porn studio, make my own porn, and sometimes I star in my own videos.”

 

Dean holds his breath for the inevitable fallout of Jimmy’s confession. Before, he’s seen Charlie and Sam freak out and be angry at Jimmy and his profession (and how much of a threat it apparently was to Dean, even though they had been in a solid relationship by then), and those were people who were supporting _Dean_ , who knew and trusted him, instead of someone who they hadn’t even known that long.

 

There isn’t quite the fallout Dean expected, though. Dean is pleasantly surprised when all Castiel says is “Oh, it’s you then.”

 

“It’s me who what?” Jimmy asks, confusion clear in his voice, and Dean is glad that he isn’t the only one who is more than slightly confused. Although Dean might be more confused because of Castiel’s reaction, while Jimmy is just confused about what Cas said.s

 

“They always confuse me with you when I do the lingerie shoots,” Castiel explains without even changing colour. Dean is impressed and it shows on his face, apparently, as Castiel adds, “What? I’m not allowed to do that?”

 

“Of course you are,” Dean splutters, and then he looks at Jimmy. “It’s just that every piece is now falling into place. I thought… Okay, so when I met Jimmy I thought that he was doing the lingerie shoots and then when I kind of told him he said it wasn’t him, and… I just… I don’t even know. I guess I only just started thinking that maybe it was you who did that. And now you’ve confirmed that. I didn’t… I didn’t expect both of my boyfriends to be exposed in their chosen career paths.” He looks back and forth between Jimmy and Castiel. “Although, I must say that it’s very clear how people seem to confuse the two of you all the time.”

 

“Okay,” Castiel says, slowly. “So you suspected one of us was doing porn and the other lingerie, Dean?”

“No, not like that,” Jimmy says. “Dean told me, and I said that it wasn’t me doing the lingerie shoots. I think that it was just like he said, that he only just realised that it was you. Really. I was kind of stunned too, while I should have made the connection right away.”

 

Castiel looks between the two of them and sighs. “Anyway, so Jimmy does porn, Dean does cars, and I do lingerie. That’s about it, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Dean nods and turns to Jimmy. “I’m sorry for bringing it up like this. It wasn’t up to me to tell.”

 

“It’s no problem,” Jimmy says, his voice soft. “But you did ruin the mood, asshat.”

 

Castiel snorts at the insult, and Dean just looks affronted by it.

 

“Asshat?” Castiel laughs full out now. “Where did you come up with that one?”

 

“I don’t know,” Jimmy says. “I like to get creative with my insults, okay? I just like ass a lot, but can you blame me?” Jimmy blushes at his own words, but it seems to inspire Dean and Castiel. They grab the wineglasses and bottles of wine, passing two bottles on to Jimmy, and start moving towards the staircase. Jimmy is left standing there, stunned. Dean and Castiel are already halfway up the stairs when Castiel notices that Jimmy isn’t following them and turns around.

 

“Are you coming, assbutt?” he calls downstairs, and the insult cracks Jimmy up.

 

“You are not much better at this,” he says, but it gets him moving. He follows his two boyfriends up the stairs quickly and as soon as they are all in the bedroom, he settles in the middle of the bed. Thank god theirs is bigger than average, or the three of them wouldn’t fit comfortably on it. The way things are they have enough space to all be stretched out and roll around a little. Perfect for what Jimmy has in mind.

 

Dean finds the remote control for the television and turns it on, landing on some kind of show about brides trying to find a wedding dress while (not) coping with all the stress of getting married in a few weeks’ time. It’s not Jimmy’s usual kind of show, but he enjoys it anyway, probably because of the increasingly drunken running commentary Dean and Castiel keep going. It appears that they are both familiar with the show, and their imitations of the hosts are spot on.

 

By the time they finish their third (and final) bottle of wine, they are all drunk which only bolsters Jimmy’s courage when he leans in and kisses Castiel. The man responds enthusiastically, his kisses slightly wet, but Jimmy finds he doesn’t care at all, as long as he gets to kiss the man. He doesn’t know how long he keeps it up but he does hear when Dean makes a sound like a choked up moan. Jimmy breaks his kiss with Castiel and sees the obvious arousal, both in Dean’s eyes and his jeans. He grins and pecks Castiel on the cheek while removing the man’s t-shirt. He moves on to kiss Dean gently and starting on the buttons of Dean’s shirt. It might be a little clumsy and slow but eventually they are all shirtless.

 

The fact that Jimmy can now touch both Castiel and Dean’s chests does something to him. He can’t wait too long to start laving Castiel’s skin in licks and kisses, sometimes even biting the skin. Dean joins him and it’s so amazing to be near the two people he loves so much… it’s almost painful for Jimmy when the revelation hits him hard: _he already loves both Castiel and Dean so much_ …

 

Jimmy gasps and pulls back, not skipping a beat and undoing his pants after which he starts tugging on the pants of the other two as well. He wants all of them naked _as soon as possible_. He _needs_ it. The other two quickly catch on to his plan and let go of each other long enough to actually get strip down. All three of them are naked within seconds, and Jimmy kisses both his boyfriends in excitement.

 

It doesn’t take long before Dean is working a finger into Jimmy and Castiel is watching avidly, studying as if his life depends on it. Jimmy doesn’t give it much thought – all he cares about is the slowly increasing number fingers Dean is working into him and the growing pressure it brings. Dean isn’t hitting his prostate, however, and Jimmy wishes he did. He whines, and almost on cue, Dean hits his prostate and Castiel leans over to Jimmy and kisses him deeply. Jimmy moans loudly, knowing that he could come from just that – the added attention is working wonders on him.

 

Dean knows – Dean always knows – and he pulls away, warning Castiel to do the same. They lazily kiss for a few minutes while Jimmy relaxes and the need to climax doesn’t feel so urgent anymore. Jimmy knows that Dean is just trying to keep him at the brink of orgasm, but it frustrates him all the same.

 

Jimmy’s already at the point of whining when he sees Castiel’s finger disappear into the crack of Dean’s ass, so his whine turns into a moan halfway through, especially when he sees the look of pleasure on Dean’s face. Castiel seems to have found his prostate on the first try.

 

“Fuck,” Jimmy whispers as he looks at the scene unfolding in front of him. He pours lube over his fingers and continues Dean’s work on his own hole. He knows that his initial reaction to Dean meeting Castiel, about them shooting a porno with Cas, was not such a bad idea after all. He’s already getting excited about it and he really, _really_ , doesn’t need the additional stimulation. “Fuck,” he says again when he sees that Castiel is up to three fingers already, and Dean is moving back onto Cas’s fingers quite steadily. Jimmy licks his lips and moves over to where Cas and Dean are, approaching the edge of the bed.

 

He kisses Dean, who already seems blissed out, and then he also kisses Castiel because the man looks like he needs some.

 

“C’mon,” Jimmy whispers in Castiel’s ear. “Let’s move up the bed and then you can fuck him while he fucks me.” Jimmy watches Castiel’s pupils dilate, and the answering moan confirms for Jimmy that Castiel is close too. Okay, they are drunk, so it might be a little shorter than normal but that doesn’t matter right now. After all, first times are never perfect.

 

Castiel moves Dean quickly, and grabs the condom Jimmy tosses him. He slides it on and adds lube, watching Dean get in position on his hands and knees. Dean yet doesn’t know that he’s going to be buried deep in Jimmy soon and Jimmy can clearly see Castiel’s excitement in his eyes.

 

Jimmy moves in front of Dean, getting the man’s attention. “Dean,” Jimmy says. “You still here?”

 

Dean nods and Jimmy takes it as permission to manoeuver underneath the man. He makes sure that Dean is steady before he gets on hands and knees himself, and then he takes hold of Dean’s dick. It’s already hard, and Jimmy moans excitedly. He lines Dean up and slowly slides down over his length. Castiel takes that as his cue to slide into Dean, and it’s heaven when Castiel pushes Dean further into Jimmy. Dean moans throatily behind him and Jimmy pants when Castiel starts thrusting in earnest. This is the best position he’s ever been in, and while he really wants to try being in the middle of this fucking amazing sandwich, he’s content for now.

 

With every push, Dean hits Jimmy’s prostate, and it’s _amazing_. Jimmy was close to begin with, so it doesn’t take long before he comes all over the sheets with a loud moan. He almost collapses immediately but then reminds himself to stay up for Dean. The gasps and moans coming from behind him sound familiar, and the mix of Dean and Castiel’s voices as they are close to their climax is amazing to listen to. While Jimmy can’t do anything more than lie there, he can at least focus on those voices and enjoy the experience.

 

Castiel is the first one to come, but Jimmy knows that it’s the feel of come pulsing out of a cock that drags Dean over the edge more often than not, so it’s not even a surprise when Dean fills him with his come only a few seconds later. Only then does Jimmy allow himself to gingerly lie down in the wet spot, and he chuckles when he feels the added weight of Dean and Castiel on top of him. He quickly pushes them off, and rolls over so he can kiss them both.

 

“Thanks,” he whispers, and Castiel just smiles back, while Dean nods sleepily. Dean can never do much after an orgasm, and Jimmy figures that this must have been an exceptionally strong orgasm so he would bet that Dean is going to fall asleep in the next few minutes.

 

Jimmy feels the tug of sleep as well, but he resists to get up and get a wet towel to clean them (or well, himself mainly) up. When he returns to the bedroom, Dean is fast asleep and Castiel is drawing patterns on the man’s back. Castiel looks up when Jimmy enters and beckons him closer. Castiel quickly helps him clean up and they drop the towel on the floor when they are done. Jimmy moves in in front of Dean again while Castiel settles at Dean’s back. They kiss over the form of the sleeping man, a slow and gentle kiss, and Jimmy knows he’s made the right decision. They are already good together and it hasn’t even been a day. Castiel knows intuitively what Dean and Jimmy know and that’s beyond amazing. They break the kiss quickly because fatigue is winning out. When Jimmy settles he knows it’s all going to be okay. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

 


End file.
